Finding Peace
by MotorcycleChik
Summary: In a world picking itself back up after the horrors of war, what do two people do to find their peace? Hermione/Severus Will she allow him to save her or push him away as she has all others since that fateful day? Slow burn warning so stick around.
1. After the war

The sound of rain pattering off leaves and his tent, the swell of air that held a swift warm undercurrent, his magical ball of light floating above illuminating the words on the page as he read the last page of the book he had purchased not but days ago. Severus Snape sat with his legs crossed, feet tucked under his legs, and the book perched on his knee. Idly swiping his long, bony finger across the last words as the rain pattered on his shield over a warm crackling fire. The forest surrounding him, though dense enough to provide a dark overture, held enough light to see his hand glide over the page as his concentration remained focused on that last paragraph. As the thunder rumbled his organs, his breath stolen from it's intensity, finally his finger reached the last word. Setting it aside, he stood stretching his legs, inside of his shield the rain stopped in a shape of a dome, providing a dry area for the fire to continue to crackle, and his food to continue cooking. With a cup of coffee and his tent already providing a warm beckon of sleep, Severus sighed with content taking a moment to survey his surroundings. The trees stood tallest he had ever seen, their leaves forming a sky of green with small cracks of blue. Rain falling heavy with consistent rumbling thunder as an undertone. The serenity of daily life in this forest continued to provide just the atmosphere Severus had been seeking during all those years of war. Peace, Nature, and comfort in a place.

He took a last look at his fire, allowing the embers to die out, and his food to be put on stasis until the morning, always starting to cook hours before the time to eat to ensure all bacteria was killed before consumption. With the knowledge of his most recent book of the day still fresh in his mind, the rain and it's thunder allowing the bone tired sensation to sweep through his body, Severus finally expanded his shield and returned to his tent. Magic was a beauty in times of Nature, his tent opened to a wide foyer that held a sitting area with it's own fireplace, a door to the right and left corners. Walking through, extinguishing any candles previously lit with a wandless wave of his hand, Severus slumped through his tent feeling the wards lock in place and made his way to the room on the right. Opening into a medium size room with floor to ceiling bookshelves, he floated the book to it's proper spot as he began to shed his clothing whilst eyeing his large queen sized bed. The bed being his only spoils of a modern society, with it's large size and mahogany bed frame with four ends that extended to the ceiling to hold his black overhang around it. Sliding in to his forest green silk sheets, he curled to his side with a hand cradling his cheek, while his other arm cradled a pillow against his chest. Allowing his heavy eyelids to slide close, his last thoughts were of the bliss his current life allowed him.

In the far reaches of England, she ran with all her will, leaves slashing into her cheek with the brunt of force her speed allowed them, causing her eyes to well slightly in surprise. Her breaths came short and quick as her muscles continued to burn, but she kept pushing forward. Suddenly her instincts made themselves known. Turning right with such forceful means that her right ankle slipped, she stumbled catching her self with her hand pushing her momentum off a tree and continued on, her ankle now throbbing. Ignoring the sudden pain while idly thinking of an ice pack, Hermione found a tree with branches low enough to leap onto further ahead. Quickly calculating the fastest maneuvers to the top most branch, she leapt gracefully onto the lowest and allowed her training and strength to do the rest. Climbing the tree faster than most would think possible, she swiftly crouched with her hands out and allowed her wandless magic to break through their bonds, building in a steady force ready to attack. Hearing the crackle of leaves and branches snapping under her assailant's boots, with a quick mental judgment, her eyes closed allowing her senses to take over. After all they never failed whereas her eyes sometimes misled.

When the crackle reached within striking distance, she swiveled on her sore ankles, extended her legs and gracefully leapt into a back flip off the branch whilst opening her eyes. Landing soundlessly behind her target, a smug smirk and a growl leapt from her lips as she released her magic in a blowing strike to his back. Hermione watched with triumph as the life faded from his eyes, and his body fell lifelessly to the ground. Closing the 5 foot difference between them, with a wave of her hand she conjured her Phoenix Patronus with a message for Kingsley telling him of her success and consequent minute transport. Laying a hand on Greyback's shoulder she apparated to the Ministry as the smirk left her face. Landing softly in the older wizard's office, Greyback's lifeless body landing aside her, she smiled as Kingsley waited patiently next to his desk.

"Hermione, dear, how are you?" She shook off his concerned gaze and turned to the werewolf's body with a blank expression.

" He was hiding out in the Scotland forest Kingsley, as your informants suspected. Took me a few days due to his increasingly annoying preference to be the hunter and not the prey." She could feel his concern annoyingly on her, knowing she looked a mess as usual after a hunt. The concern and wishes for her wellbeing only added her to annoyance of people as of late, ever since the war. Turning from his gaze, keeping her Occlumency shields in tight order, and striving to look as though her body wasn't about to collapse, she grasped Greyback's wand and handed it to Kingsley.

"Another successful hunt dear, I couldn't be more proud of you. So I ask this lightly knowing the small amount of merit you will give it. Give yourself a break Hermione, please? Everyone is worried sick about you, Harry and Ron owl almost every day you are gone. Go see them."

Hermione grimaced at his words, it had been four years since the day the Dark Lord fell, and she hadn't seen anyone aside from Kingsley, Minerva, and Pompfrey. The latter two even less, and only due to injuries sustained during her hunts.

"As appreciated as the concern is Sir, I'll be needing the name of my next task now. I've only got a day or two turnover you know this."

His eyes clouded over with sadness and understanding of the younger woman, a look Hermione had come to hate with all her being this past year. Each hunt, it only got deeper and more engrained in her memory, that look. As if she wasn't a woman of sound mind, but one of deep secrets and pain, the truth of it was something she refused to focus on.

"As you wish my dear, at least sit with me for some tea and a sandwich, you look a bit pale if you grant me the freedom to note it. I'll look through the files and see who is left."

Taking a moment to analyze the situation, and take stock of her wilting body, she nodded in reluctant acquiesce as her stomach growled in need. Realizing it had been days since her last meal was not something that shocked her, but the growling noise from her stomach something that annoyed her. Her body never seemed to understand her and the need to push through.

As the tea found it's place on the tray of sandwiches that the Minister had placed before her, the body of the werewolf already dispatched to the proper aurors, she grabbed her cup and took a sip. Immediately, she grimaced silently in pain, her body's injuries held ignorant slowly became evident. She had forgotten of the gashes, the stab wound to her lower back, the throbbing in her ankles, and the pain in her shoulder. All rushed to the surface as the blood left her face, the last thing she saw was Kingsley's barked orders to his Patronus as it flew away, and his arms circling her shoulders as the darkness won.

Minerva paced the small space beside the hospital bed as Madam Pomfrey continued her diagnostic tests, Kingsley standing to the far corner of the closed off hospital room with concern burning in his eyes. Finally after what seemed an hour, but could only be mere minutes, Madam Pomfrey turned to Minerva with pain and confusion on her face.  
"I've found four different deep gashes along her body that I'll mend and give her blood replenishing potions for, as well as a stab wound I'll have to stitch the muggle way. She has sprains in both her ankles and a dislocated shoulder." The Mediwitch listed her findings, while already having begun to charm her room's wards to privacy as she stripped the younger woman's clothes and slid a hospital gown on to replace them.  
"She seemed fine Minerva, not in any more pain than usual after one of her hunts." Kingsley's concern evident on his face caused the older woman to stop her pacing and turn to him with a look of understanding and pain.  
"It's not your fault Kings, Pomfrey and I both know what type of woman Hermione has grown to become."  
The Mediwitch nodded in consent, "Almost worse than Severus ever was, this one." Beginning to wash the younger witch's body with care, paying special attention to her wounds.  
Minerva turned back to the Mediwitch, "How long before she wakes?"  
"Could be hours, days? Not sure this time. This might be the worst she has endured since she started her hunts."  
Minerva shook her head in earnest, "She couldn't have settled down like the rest of the survivors after the war, no this one goes off to become the wizarding world's greatest huntress." Pride, anger, sadness, and pain swept over all three of the elder's faces.

"We will leave you to it Poppy, I'll be back tomorrow to check her status, if she wakes before then I'm sure I'll know."  
Minerva turned to see Kingsley already leaving, "How's that?"  
"She made it plainly clear, she wanted the name of her next hunt as soon as possible." With a last concerning glance to the unconscious witch he turned to leave, stopping just before the wards to her room. A sigh leaving as his body slumped in resignation, "Have you heard anything from him, Mini?"

"No word, last my contacts found he was camping out in the Conifer Forest in Norway."

The Minister shook his head even as his hand began to form a hole in the wards, "We both know he is the only one who can put a stop to Hermione's destructive path." With that said, Kingsley left Minerva with tears forming in her eyes, and the Mediwitch who paused on his words only to continue her labors once he left.


	2. Sleeping Huntress

Kingsley Shacklebolt sat at his desk with candles floating above him and a journal laid out, quill left in the ink jar, and silence only interrupted with the persistent thunder from outside. A single tear slid from his left eye as he sat in thought, rigid with despair. It had been two weeks since Hermione had brought back a lifeless Greyback, and every day that passed felt like a knife twisting in the older man's heart. Though she had pushed all her friends and family away after that day four years ago, she had always reported to him. Being one of three people to find their eyes and ears graced with her presence, her recent illness weighed heavily.

 _Hermione Granger had done the opposite of her former classmates, whilst they went on to live happy and quiet lives, she had reported to his office not but a week after the war with a look so haunted and desperate he could do nothing against her pleas. It had been 7 days since the war, and he was making great strides in progress to seeing his world rebuilt. Filling out some paperwork on the reconstruction of Hogwarts he almost missed the light knock on his office doors._

 _"Come in."_

 _"Sir, Hermione Granger is here to see you? Says she doesn't have an appointment-"_

 _"Nonsense send her in."_

 _Shuffling the papers away while making a mental note of where to proceed once the meeting was over, he had barely summoned the tray of tea and sandwiches when the door opened once again._

 _The once bookish young girl that Kingsley had remembered looked ten shades different. Her once frizzy hair was now silky smooth and fell in soft curls. She stood at least a foot taller than he had remembered, and had the body of an athletic woman. But the biggest change to be noted lie in her eyes, that were shadowed over with guilt, pain, liking haunted beyond her years. Motioning her over to the chair in front of his desk, he folded his hands as concern and curiosity burned throughout his body._

 _"What can I do for you Hermione?"_

 _She took a moment to survey his office, her gaze landing on the tea and sandwiches upon his desk before slowly reaching her own seat._

 _"Kingsley, you know how much work Harry, Ronald, and I put into the success of this war?" Leaning forward as the curiosity won over his concern, he nodded._

 _"I need a favor Minister, I need a purpose. A reason to keep going."_

 _"But Harry and Ron-?"_

 _"Harry has Ginny and their first born to look forward to, Ronald is off being chased by woman and spending his time living it up as a quidditch master, which is perfectly reasonable and I prefer they continue to find safe and happy lives. Only one thing wrong…" She paused to allow her sincerity to be seen in her eyes, "I'm not them. I want to fight, I want to work for my safety. The war isn't over and you know it. How many Death Eaters are still on the loose? How many killings have continued after they lost their master but you have kept quiet in times of peace? The killers, rapist, and sadistic people of this world will continue to be so, even without a leader or a purpose."_

 _His professionalism fled from his body as he felt as though the wind had been pushed from his lungs, leaning back with a resigned look he asked the question he wished he hadn't needed to. "What are you asking Hermione?"_

 _"Send me to the best trainers there are, all over the world. I want to hunt them all down and make sure they don't hurt someone else's loved ones again." Kingsley took a moment to sift through his raging thoughts, as minister he could see where this stemmed from. Bellatrix had still managed to find her parents and murder them ruthlessly after the Dark Lord had fallen. It came as no surprise that she sat before him demanding the means to take her revenge. As much as he felt the need to refuse with every fiber of his being, he knew he wouldn't as all of her sacrifices came rushing to his mind at once._

 _"I will pay you a salary once every two months, as well as fees for the bounties of the Death Eaters you bring back. Each mission will have it's own dangers and location, so you should spend a day or two acclimating to your surroundings before going after them. There are three people I can think of sending you to, a potions master in Italy, a survivalist in Spain, and one of the best bounty hunters in the world who resides in Ireland. Each will have the knowledge you are here asking for, after a month with each you will report to me and receive your first assignment."_

 _Immediately her eyes changed from the haunted and lost look to that of a determined warrior with a mission, and Kingsley felt it in his heart the pain of signing her death wish. After a nod, and a few minutes of sending his patronus with messages to each mentor for her approach, he handed an object to her to turn into a portkey. Just before casting the incantation, he paused, "Hermione, please take the time of your training to really think this over. The world needs you still in different ways, it doesn't have to be death and blood for the rest of your life."_

 _The only answer he received was a shaky nod of her head and determined eyes that pointed to the object willing it to be a portkey, with a wave of his wand over her palm she curled into nothing as it took her away._

With the last day almost ending, to make it a third week of her unconscious state, Kingsley sat debating over Minerva and Pomfrey's words. The only person alive that would be able to figure out what was wrong with her mind, as her body was healed to it's normal self, was holed up in a forest spending his days living the rustic life of a traveler and scholar. With both the pleas of the concerned elder females resonating in his mind to allow more time before taking action, his heart won out as he conjured his patronus and gave his message. Knowing that where no owl or eagle would be able to deliver a scroll with the message, his patronus would.

Time seemed an irrelevant thing to Severus, the fire blazed in it's normal location not but 5 ft from his curled frame as he gazed over the mountainous view that his chosen clearing in the woods gave him. With his tent already made up behind him, his floating candle light that cast an eerily glow in the moon lit darkness, he listened to the wildlife's vocals as the wind swept through the countless trees. If he looked closely enough, even in the darkness he could see their branches sway in the far mountains before him from it's force. His new book lay aside him as he chewed absent mindedly on his current piece of fish. Provided from his morning fishing duties at the lake about an hours hike from his campsite, he stretched his toes as his calves still burned in over use. Just as he began to fill his hunger needs met, a glow of other proportions floated to the trees. Tracing it's glow, he found a glowing white owl that he recognized as Kingsley's patronus, perched above him on a nearby branch.

"Severus I hope this finds you, I know you wish to remain undisturbed but there are circumstances that could not allow it any longer." A pause where an audible sigh filled with pain reached his ears."It's Hermione, she took a different path than others after the war. Now, I fear I must ask you to save her. I'll be awaiting your patronus in my office. Please Severus, one last time, be her hero."

The Patronus left him with his hand clutching his stomach as he felt a physical blow from her name being said. Hermione Granger, the gryffindor princess and resident know-it-all, now a name that he dreamt of nightly as her voice always found it's way into his state of sleep. He knew who he owed his life to, he knew she ran back to the shack after assuring the others could finish the job without her to save his life. Knew it had been her know-it-all brains, insufferable as they were, that had somehow processed a means of bringing him back from death to live the life he deserved. The one regret that followed him so many years after that day, was that his pride and anger at surviving prevented him from thanking her for the chance she gave him.

He had attempted to track her down a month after the war only to meet endless trails. Eventually he found the Minister himself begging he stop looking for her. Something about a new job and required to be untraceable or unreachable for an unforeseeable amount of time. It had caused him feelings of ineptitude after he found that after all his years of spying for both sides, all his training and experience, the witch 20 years his junior was able to remain true to the Minister's words. So he packed up and began his life of solitude with the knowledge of the only person he would befriend was to remain off the grid.

Now, finally being given the chance after four years to return the favor, he packed his things within minutes and apparated back to the Ministry, taking one last look to his solitude and peace.

The Ministry hadn't changed one bit since he had received his Order of Merlin, everything remained untouched if not polished to look newer. Severus had found he actually felt comforted by the thought that what he had expected was turning out to be far from the truth. Taking the elevator to the Ministers office, he took deep breaths in an attempt to remain as at peace as his time in the forests of the world allowed him to. Finding that peace once again he focused his mind on doing something he hadn't done in four years, building his occlumency walls back to their former strength. With a ding from the elevator and it's doors opening into a deserted foyer, he knocked on the door of the office himself as the Minister's assistant was rightfully already home.

"Come in."Feeling the wards separate to allow his entrance, his magical being accepted in the security of the Minister's office, he walked through with tight muscles and a straight back. The Minister himself sat behind his desk, his head cradled in his hands, a look of pain resonating in the pale exterior of his face.

"Severus, you came." The concern in his body became increased as he took note of how badly the illness had weighed on his former colleague. Hermione at the forefront of his mind, he remained in silence as he took his seat opposite of Kingsley.

"Of course I did. You knew I would as soon as your patronus mentioned her name. What's wrong Kingsley? What has happened to her?"

"We don't know Severus. But-" He paused as his eyes connected with Severus's black gaze. "Hermione, the Hermione you knew, and the one I know now are two totally different people. I need you to understand my choices, and understand hers to be able to help her. I'm willing to give you her memories of this last hunt so that you may be able to find if anything we missed may help. But, I have been over and over it numerous times and have yet to find anything."

Coffee appeared between the two men, and Kingsley took this moment to pause, making his coffee as he gathered his thoughts and strength. To find a way to break the new developments of the woman he hoped had won Severus's heart. "Hermione came to me a day before you had woken from your healing coma, the look in her eyes Severus, I'll never forget it. She was lost, and seeking a way of means, a purpose and revenge for the death of her parents. I couldn't keep her from that, couldn't deny the heroine of the Wizarding World her last wish. So I agreed, sent her to Italy, Ireland, and Spain for training. To which she came back the same woman, but emblazoned with new knowledge and skills. At that point I was hoping she had found a different reason to live, but was disappointed as she asked for her first target." Taking a breath for strength, Kingsley continued. "She has killed 30 of the remaining death eaters in the last three years Severus. After her first kill I found a woman with a piece of her missing, and every target since has continued to break away from the woman we all knew and loved. Until, inevitably she returned as a mere shell."

Abruptly, Kingsley jumped from his chair in a movement Severus recognized as being fueled by self hatred, and began to pace his office.

"The hunts she went on, none of them required her to kill. Every memory I have seen has led to her allowing a trap to be set until she can turn the tables. Up to that point she allows her body to be tortured. Stabs, cuts, broken bones, hexes, curses and so much more. Every time I feel as if my heart is ripped a little more by the amount she allows herself to endure. Every time she shrugs it off and ask for a new target. Between myself, Minerva, and Pomfrey no one else has spoken to or seen Hermione since the war." The rant ended, Kingsley stopped pacing at the back of his chair, allowing his body to slump forward, his hands braced along it's edge. His eyes piercing with desperation. "Only you can save her Severus, only you would have been able to put a stop to this. No one would ask it of you, as everyone including Hermione forbade you be disturbed. But, she needs you now. She has been unconscious since this last hunt, all physical wounds and magical use has been restored to it's proper glory. Yet she refuses to wake. Poppy is beside herself, researching and studying Hermione day and night, to no avail.

By the end of the rant Severus had felt as if the witch in question had grasped his heart whole and was squeezing it in alternative pressures. His breath seemed to shallow out as guilt flowed throughout his mind. Sadness throbbed in his veins, and worry began to filter through as he started to wonder what the shell of a woman would be like when he finally brought her back.

"Where is she Kingsley?"

"Hogwarts, Poppy and Minerva have advised against contacting you. I couldn't bare another day without it." The Minster bent forward as he whispered his last plea, "Help me fix my mistakes Severus, do better by her than I ever could."

With a nod, and a look of determination, Severus left the office to use the floo network into Hogwarts. As it was already approaching dawn, he knew that today would be a long one.

 _She ran blindly through the castle, dodging hexes and curses that flew from every direction. Ignoring the sounds of pain and war in the halls and rooms surrounding her, she pushed her feet to carry her to the place she knew she was needed most. With her small beaded bag flopping against her hip with every forceful step, she knew she had everything she needed. Dodging a giant and his tree trunk, catching a glimpse of Remus and Tonks fighting with their backs to each other, she pushed her mind to refocus again on her task at hand. She may be unable to save them, but she would save him._

 _Finally she burst through the broken doors of the wooden shack and found the bleeding and unconscious man that had haunted her mind for the last few hours. Her knees giving way, she slouched into a kneeling position. Scooting closer to come upon his right side while grabbing blindly at the things she needed deep in her bag._

 _She worked aimlessly without break until she cast her diagnostic test to find that Severus Snape was stable and looked to be in a condition where transport would not hurt him. Upon levitating his body outside of the shack she found the war at a stand still, people milling around with sobs or tears, some sitting in shock at the realization it was finally over. With the confirmation she needed, she allowed her exhausted mind to slam the walls in place to allow her to remain numb to the pain and suffering that clogged the air._

 _Finding Madam Pomfrey bustling around the Great Hall, turned into a make shift hospital, Hermione continued past up the stairs to the headmaster's rooms. Using her magic and belief in the castle, it allowed her entrance. Laying his unconscious body on his bed, and stripping him of his clothes, she began to bath him. After transfiguring one of his slacks into a hospital gown and securing it in place, she then summoned monitors and various tools for emergency case from the Great Hall to his bedside. Once making sure that he remained stable, she poured down half a bottle of Dreamless sleep potion, only to do the same for herself. Her last act of mercy during the aftermath of the war._

 _Her last conscious thoughthough were the beginnings of her memory being in a forest with skills she knew she hadn't possessed and an almost animal like hunting mentality._


	3. Waking her up

Severus brushed the soot and dust from himself as he took a moment to readjust, after using the floo system for the first time in years left him feeling disoriented. His equilibrium once again realigned, he surveyed his old rooms to find that everything remained in it's original place. The dungeons remained his, making what he expected to occur that must easier to accomplish. As he slowly passed by each of the rooms, he filled a tumbler with whiskey and began to process what he had been told of the witch who saved his life. Upon reaching his rooms, he found the bed from the Headmaster's room having been brought down to the dungeons. The memories from the last week he spent in this bed surfacing with brutal force.

 _He had felt hands washing him, soft hands with a bit of a roughness formed in the tips from hard work and labors. Regardless of the texture of the fingers, this person, no-... female as the hands possessed a elegance to them; worked on his body with such care and softness to it that he felt his heart constrict. He had never experienced a person taking such depths to ensure his comfort and cleanliness, providing a feeling of care that he never had the fortune to know. A feeling that began to chip away at the battle hardened exterior he had built around his mind and heart over the many years of his life. Having yet to regain full consciousness, he spent his days between bouts of slumber processing his surroundings with other available senses. During those times he realized that he only had one true nurse maiden, the rest were visitors, some of whom he recognized by voice or scent. Minerva visited often as well as Kingsley, he even heard the old twinkling bastard Dumbledore speaking with Minerva on several occasions. But, his ever present caretaker only spoke with him in low, husky tones that he found washed over his mind in a peaceful wave. Speaking of getting better, or what was occurring with the castle, during which he was never able to guess who the voice belonged to._

 _It was with a startling discovery that he found his prospective nurse maiden was in fact the Gryffindor Princess herself. After allowing his mind to process her actions, surprising as they were, he came to find solace in her constant presence. Her voice was like a drug, withdrawals beginning almost immediately after she stopped speaking. Her touch, soft and caring as it were, began to change the image he possessed of the small frizzy haired buck tooth girl that first annoyed him in his classes. Slowly, before he knew what had happened, his heart began to melt in her care. So that when he woke, he felt light and free to be the man he had always hoped for a chance to be._

 _The day he finally found that his eyelids under his control, he found the presence he had began to associate to his angel, to have disappeared only to have her identity confirmed by way of Minerva's insistent praise. He spent the next two weeks thinking alternatively how odd it seemed that one of the people he was cruelest to had become his savior and stuck around to nurse him back to health. The other was that the war had been won, and his nurse maiden who he would gladly show a different side of himself to, was no where to be found._

Allowing his hand to fall in a caress on the armchair placed next to where he had spent his recovery, he remembered the strange connection he felt to it once having been informed that Hermione had spent many nights curled up with a book keeping watch over him. Since that day, he found that wherever he deemed his home, that the armchair would surely follow. Taking a seat, he decided to finally face the feelings he knew he had for the younger witch and decide what they truly meant. He definitely considered her a person he would like to spend time with, a person he would allow to see the inner side of himself that no one else had the pleasure of knowing. But, he still felt apprehensive towards the feelings of want that had harbored over the years for her intellect and brown eyes, even with them being from the younger immature self he had known,only having speculation as to what they would be like now with years of maturity. Severus still felt as if Hermione Granger had some how worked her way under his skin. Though he could find no explanation as to how or why, he allowed it to sit as a fact he would deal with upon finally seeing her awoken from her sleep.

Setting aside the tumbler, and taking a few moments to gather his wit, he mentally prepared himself for the hurricane that he was sure to be met with, it was time to greet Minerva after so many years after his departure. Flooing over to her office, he stepped quietly into it's foyer and took a look around. Immediately his eyes flew to the largest and newest addition to the Headmaster portraits along the wall, Albus smiled in greeting with a look of happy pride glowing from his face.

"Minerva?" It took a few moments, sounds of surprise, things being knocked over and a muffled string of expletives in a Scottish accent before the woman herself appeared with a nightgown and a cup of tea.

"S-Severus." His name came out in sputters as she somehow managed jogging over gracefully, "Severus, dear lad, I can't believe I'm seeing you." All the words became muffled as the taller woman enveloped him in her arms, Severus immediately stiffened.

"Let me go woman-…..please." Though the please was whispered, even after the offending arms had loosened and started to fall. A look of shock fell over her face, the kind word something she only ever heard directed to Albus, and only as a last resort of bribery. Minerva surveyed the younger wizard silently, noting his healthier appearance, the light dusting of a beard that he must've kept trimmed, clean and well fitted clothes, and a bit more muscle to him than she last remembered. All in all, Severus Snape had more color to his cheeks, and a softened gaze that resonated from the grace he carried, grace from the peace she hoped he had found.

Said wizard had already summoned a tray that carried both his and Minerva's guilty midnight pleasures, taking a seat whilst allowing a small amount of his occlumency shields to fall in the older witch's trusted presence, he motioned for her to follow. As the elder woman still seemed petrified with his new appearance and demeanor, he began preparing the drinks with a languid ease, allowing a few more moments for her mind to process things.

"Mini, if you don't close your mouth, I'm afraid you might be coughing up more than hairballs your next transformation." A light chuckle escaped him, as her mouth snapped shut and she glared back in annoyance.

"Well, it's good to know that your appearance can change, maybe even some of your attitude, but you will always remain a smart ass." A genuine smile graced his lips before he leaned back as a deep and rumbling laugh racked his body, the sound of which brought a smile to the older witch's face. "Severus, your so different. Honestly, I'm not sure whether to cry or jump for joy. You look years younger my boy, and so much happier I think you may be glowing."

"Nonsense Mini, I may have put on some weight and some muscle, but it's still the same old me. Just- you know, I'm free." With those words, Severus watched as a cloud of frustration and anger came over the older witch. Surreptitiously glancing at Dumbledore's portrait in a sort of apology.

"Kingsley, that ridiculous man called you here didn't he. Severus you have no obligati-." Putting a stop to what he was sure would have been a long and drawn out rant over his well being, Severus held up his hand.

"Decease with your pestering woman, I came of my own volition. Now what do you know of Hermione?"

"What ever Kingsley has shared with you is more than I can offer my boy, I'm afraid she saw him more in the last four years than she has seen any other person in this world. Partly why I assume this illness has weighed on him so greatly." Severus finished his coffee, leaning forward as he felt the confusion spread along his facial features.

"She was closer to Kingsley? Mini, that makes no sense." His hand flew to the bridge of his nose as he alternatively paced or applied pressure, attempting to stave off the headache he could feel building. "Hermione, the Gryffindor Princess was YOUR princess Mini, what happened?"

"She changed Severus, almost overnight. When asked, the boys refuse to tell us what happened. Harry only gives the same idea, something to do with what happened in Malfoy Manor while they were on the run." Pausing, Minerva almost gasped at the sight of her formerly healthy looking colleague, looking as if the blood had rushed from his face on the brink of passing out. "You know, don't you Severus. You know of what happened?"

Standing still nervously, he turned to her with a look of great pain, he nodded. Clearing the lump that had formed in his throat, "yes, and yet- it wouldn't be something to break Hermione. No, Ms. Granger had something happen to her after the war."

A million different things began to invade his walls, until he took a moment to face away from Minerva, a moment to take a deep and strong breath to slowly release it as he could see himself rebuilding his wall by hand. After it seemed to remain in tact, he once again began to sift through the thoughts that had slipped through before, the main thought one that he wished he didn't have to discover. What in the world happened to Hermione whilst he was still healing? Feeling his magic begin to build at just the slightest idea of someone hurting her, he quickly dampened it down lest the old woman saw it.

"Take me to her Minerva. It's time she woke."

Severus continued to find solace in the castle's remaining state, everything had been rebuilt as it stood before the war, and it gave him peace knowing they hadn't messed with the original structure of his former home. The only things to change were small in of no consequence in Severus's mind. Upon pushing through the nursery doors, he found a room to the far right of the broad area, curtained off and secluded from the other beds. Already Severus could feel his body warming at the nearness of the woman who had made her presence known in his thoughts and dreams for the last four years, already he could feel the peace that would follow after saving her from what ever it is that haunted her. Pushing through the curtains he found Hogwarts's Mediwitch at work, blocking his view of the one he wished to see.

"Poppy, He's here." Minerva stood to the side as the other woman spun on her heels, the sponge she held slipped from her fingers as she too hurried forward to crush him within his arms. Severus allowed himself to relax a little into the embrace as the shock had worn off from being assaulted before, yet his arms remained at his side while allowing the witch to let it out.

Releasing him, but holding him at arms length, Severus felt he had gone back in time to the small boy who first attended Hogwarts to be patched up by the Mediwitch more times than he could count.

"Hello Poppy."

Tears in her eyes and a watery smile she nodded. "Severus, you look so good my dear. Much better than the last I saw you, how are you?"

"I'm better than she is woman, now can I see her?"With a knowing twinkle in her eye, reminding him of one of his previous masters, he ducked past her gaze to finally lay eyes on the one woman he wished to see.

She lay lifeless on the bed in a sea of blue sheets and a blue hospital gown. The once frizzy hair he had always found exasperating now lay in a fan of silky and smooth chestnut curls. Not wishing to be caught staring, he took a brief survey of the small amount of body within view and noted the muscle that lie within the body he previously knew as a skinny short girl. He found his eyes drawn to the scars that peppered one side of her face likely resulting from a hex or explosion of some sort, to the larger scar that started on the right side of her neck to curl from sight around the back. Immediately Severus knew the type of woman he was dealing with, as the scars and the athletic body pushed any thought of the know-it-all picture from his mind. Immediately he knew that the changes in her personality were true to Kingsley and Minerva's words. Guilt, concern, and worry all pushed forward with an undercurrent of pain. his Slowly, with more hesitation that he would have liked the other witches to witness, he laid his palm on her head to feel the warmth that resonated from her sleeping form. With all of the magical force he could feel pushing at their barriers, he entered her mind while his eyes slid close.

 _Looking around he recognized the war at it's height, giants causing more damage than seemed appropriate, Acromantulas running wild, Death Eaters screaming hexes as students and teachers screamed their own. Severus felt panic rise as he knew she had been stuck in the war for three weeks. Quickly he shook the shock he felt at being back in this time, beginning to scan the area for Hermione. When he found nothing, he shut his eyes and began to breath deeply, allowing his magic to filter through the chaos and seek her out. Finally his eyes snapped open and he took off at a brisk run to the spot he hopefully would find her. Even with the knowledge of not being able to get hurt, he still allowed his instincts the reigns as he dodged and fired his own wandless hexes at any possible danger. Of course they couldn't see him, and his hexes were of no use, but it didn't matter much as what was real and what was Hermione's dream had momentarily left his mind._

 _As he pushed past the chaotic barrier to the more deserted portion of the castle to race down the hill, he found the boat shack within view. A smirk of triumph spread his lips as he saw signs of life within it's dilapidated structure. Finally reaching the landing, his steps slowed to a softer walk as he found Hermione curled along his unconscious and bleeding body attempting to administer the needed medications of the concoction she had thought of, the concoction that inevitably saved his life. A Sense of wonder and pride came over him as he saw the woman he admired in action, the brisk pace at which she worked with ease, and yet the many times she paused to offer comfort to his being. Finally unable to watch her 'fake' failed attempts anymore, he came to sit behind her gently laying a hand on her shoulder._

 _"Hermione."_

 _She quickly spun with confusion on her face, confusion that quickly left as all her previous training after the war showed itself and she flung her body onto his immediately subduing him in a tight and powerful choke-hold. Well, Severus thought, of course it couldn't be easy. Swinging his legs out from under him he effectively knocked her off balance to land on her back, leaping onto her limbs pinning them to the ground._

 _"Stop! Don't struggle Hermione. It's me, Severus." Within seconds the flailing woman settled, disbelief and sadness settled over her features._

 _"No your not, that is." Motioning over to the lifeless body in the corner, the woman's voice as he remembered, deep and sultry._

 _"Hermione, you're in a coma. It's not real. You already saved my life woman."_

 _The Disbelief evident on her face, she shook her head. "No, Severus is over there and he's dead. I waited too long. Nothings happening, it's not working…" A tear escaped as the emotions she had clearly been battling came forward, her limbs beginning to struggle once more. Before he could focus on her feelings towards his alleged death, he quickly tried shocking her into focus instead._

 _As she began to struggle once more, he reverted back to his teaching voice."STOP THIS INSTANT!", knowing he needed to prove to her it was really him and that would be the only way. With success, her eyes flew to his as a soft understanding replaced the disbelief as the tears continued._

 _Softly, with more emotion than he expected in her voice, "Severus?"_

 _"Yes, you insufferable fool. Your in a coma, and I'm here to wake you. Your last hunt depleted your magical reserves to a dangerous amount, as well as the injuries you let fester for too long without proper care. Your mind shut down to allow itself to heal. Thus, bringing you to your mind's main memory."_

 _The most unexpected thing began to happen as she chuckled until she began to laugh in earnest. Her body vibrating through his where contact was still maintained on her limbs. Standing to allow her the same option, he smiled as she continued to laugh._

 _"Are you ready to come back to the land of the living Ms. Granger?"_

 _Eventually her laughter died down, and she stood to her own height, reaching just below his chin._

 _"Sure, why not. I still have work to do I'm sure."_

 _The anger and confusion that flushed his body as the knowledge she only wished to return to continue her revenge caused him surprise, leaving him speechless. He obviously had more work to do than just getting her to regain consciousness. "So Professor, how does this work?"_

 _Noting the smug undertones while using his previous title, he smirked in return. "Just take hold of my arm you insufferable twit."_

 _With her chuckling softly, and the warm weight of her arm softly grasping his, he apparated them both out of her subconscious._

His eyes slid opened as his hand fell from her forehead while awaiting her to follow. Minutes that felt like they would never end passed before she finally stirred and he found deep chocolate eyes staring into his own onyx ones. A small smile split his face as he found her staring at him with unreserved curiosity and a quietened happiness, but remained unmoved. The connection they held warmed his chilled body, his heart began to pump faster as he felt the same as he did while being under care. At peace and cared for.

Having so many things to say run through his mind at once, it became difficult to push out a whispered "Welcome back."

Stepping back as Minerva and Madam Pomfrey raced forward, he surveyed the mediwitch doing a check up, and Minerva's motherly attentions on the younger witch. Sadness once again enveloped his fleeting happiness that held for moments after their connection, she remained lifeless and quiet, completely reserved around the elder witches. As if she couldn't care less of the goings on around her, something he never would have guessed Hermione Granger would do. Minerva eventually got the point and slowly backed up to take a spot next to him, her shoulders heavy in despair. As Madam Pomfrey finally finished her diagnostic tests, she looked past Hermione to Severus and Minerva giving a slow nod to the older witch before giving Severus a pointed look, almost as if to say "watch this".

"Alright my dear, your good to go, seems your back to your normal self again."

Shock and worry clouded his mind as he watched Hermione nod in a quick movement before sliding from the bed in her hospital gown. Without a word to any of those who cared for her well-being, grabbed her clothes and left the hospital ward.

Minerva laid her hand on his shoulder, finally breaking him from the shock that had rooted him to the spot, his mouth slamming shut in anger as he found tears sliding down her face.

"Fix her Severus, bring our Hermione back to us."

That being the last push he needed, his mind was made. Quickly, Severus swept past her to follow the lifeless shell formerly known as the Gryffindor princess. Finally reaching her, he grabbed her elbow in a tight grasp and apparated her to his family cottage in Ireland.


	4. Promises

Landing within the sitting room, Severus turned to find a fist slamming into his nose with strength greater than most. Opening his palms to the walls surrounding the cottage, he reinforced his wards to keep her from leaving. Smirking through the blood that now flowed from his nose as she growled in response.

"It's no use Ms. Granger, you are stuck here for the time being. Get comfortable."

As he repaired the damage to his nose, and summoned a wet rag from the washroom, he swiped the blood from his mouth and chin. The wild woman reappeared in the doorway before him, again he found a great sadness flood his mind as those deep brown eyes staring back at him held such a haunted and yet lifeless look. Finally she turned past him and ran up the stairwell that led to his rooms.

Allowing her to go, he began to prepare a hearty meal for dinner with coffee beginning to brew on the counter. Minutes passed before he heard the creak of the steps giving the younger witch's position away, slowly she made her way back into the kitchen. Taking a brief glance at her, he had to force himself not to laugh at the dejected and angry look on her face. She slumped into one of the chairs at the kitchen's island, hiding her expression from him while remaining silent.

A substantial amount of time had passed, in which severus continued to prepare dinner. Until he heard the chair move slightly, she spoke softly"Why?"

Freezing in shock at her sudden words, he forced himself to continue without giving himself away.

"Well, I'm hungry so I decided a vegetable stew with some beef sounded good."Another light sound of exasperation came from her position at the island, a sound he had to admit he found cute, if Severus Snape ever actually used the word cute. "Why are you keeping me here Severus?"

He laid down his knife as resolve set deep in his bones, turning to face her with a stern expression on his face. Allowing the care he felt for her to shine in his eyes.

"Because you're a shell of the girl I used to know Ms. Granger. I haven't finished my job yet."

She snorted in disbelief, "Your 'job'? You mean to fix me professor?" The sound of the stool being moved back alerted to her standing, as she made her way over to him. Suddenly, her finger took to digging into his chest as she spoke each word. "I've got news for you and everyone else, the woman you used to know is gone. She died four years ago. So deal with it."

Against all odds, instead of finding himself terrified, he focused on the sudden need to hold her. Needing for her to understand where he stood, Severus decided a way to let her know that scare tactics would be of no use. So he laughed at the anger he found burning in her eyes. It was no wonder Death Eaters had fallen to this woman since the war, she truly reminded him of himself during his spy years.

"You've got it all wrong Ms. Granger, you're not being given a choice in the matter. You saved me without a choice, so I'm going to return the favor whether your conscious to fight it or not." He turned from her angry gaze and began to chop the vegetables once more, all the while feeling his neck burn as she continued to stare. Finally the sensation left as he heard her return to the sitting room, and once more he smirked knowing that if the Hermione he knew was truly gone, he would have been beaten bloody and left for dead in response.

The table set and dinner sitting out, having allowed her a full hour alone while he cooked, he went in search for her. Stepping into the sitting room he found her reading a book while laying in a relaxed position on the larger couch in front of the fire. He took a minute to survey her, to imprint the image of the Hermione he knew in his mind, as he found he quite enjoyed her on his couch with his book. Seeing it as something he could continue to enjoy, he shook the tempting thoughts from his mind to focus on the matter at hand. Clearing his throat and making his presence known, she dropped the book to the floor and turned to face him.

"Dinner is ready, come eat."

As she had obviously relaxed during the hour of separation, he could see that she wasn't guarding herself. Watching her shields slam back in place, he filed away the thought that he would have to work on her occlumency habits. Seeing how she allowed them to control her emotions and body completely instead of just using them for protection. Definitely something that could contribute to her shell-like state.

Turning back into the kitchen he found her already seated at the table with a bowl filled with soup, her steaming cup of tea aside it, waiting patiently for her host. It seems manners still remained for the young gryffindor.

"Go ahead and eat."

He watched as she began attacking the meal with every bit of ferocity that a starved animal would posses, immediately he went with his first assumption that it was normal after being asleep for three weeks. His second assumption caused a possessive nature to wake in anger at the thought of her neglecting to maintain her nutrient uptake while putting herself in harms way almost daily. Shrugging it off while making his own bowl, he attempted to ignore how beautiful a woman she had become during her time hunting, even while stuffing soup in her mouth without a care.

Eating in silence was normal for Severus, eating in silence next to a woman he remembered as someone as verbose as Hermione had been, caused a concerned flutter in his belly as the minutes passed. The witch alternated between eating savage like to staring into space with her spoon in hand, he began to wonder what exactly happened and how he truly planned on reversing the damage.

As the last of the soup was scraped into her bowl, he turned his mind from her resuming his normal routine. Gathering up the dishes, he placed them systematically into the sink and began washing them by hand, as had always been his preference.

"You are a wizard, are you aware?"

He chuckled in surprise at her witty retort, "To which I should point out that you are still a human, and not an animal?" Her response being a quiet growl, one that he found quite appealing, caused his continued chuckling to escalate to full blown laughter.

As silence fell once again over the kitchen, he turned to find her staring at him with a small angle to her head, a curious expression written plainly on her face.

As he gave the experience a few more uncomfortable minutes, he finally mumbled through clenched teeth. "What?"

"You laughter, it's not something I think I've ever experienced during your times as a teacher." As he waited for an addition to her assessment only to get nothing else from her, he added a bit of his own prodding.

"Laughing is a natural thing Ms. Granger, because I had to keep appearances during the war I kept the human side of me locked up tight. So yes, of course you wouldn't have heard it before. Your point being?" He hated to be an object of study, he felt the experience slightly less unwanted by her, but still uncomfortable.

"Nothing, it's nice." The words spoke softly enough, that had he not strained to hear it he might have missed the reply all together.

Allowing his sponge to fall onto the counter, shutting the water off, and quickly squashing his true feelings for her behind mental walls, he turned to face her. "Sometimes when we find ourselves in different circumstances, in the presence of someone we may learn to trust or may already trust, we can allow our hidden personalities to surface. Everyone should have someone they find they trust enough to allow that to happen. It's dangerous to lock yourself away too long, lest you find there will be nothing left to return when the opportunity finally allows it."

Surprisingly the younger witch began to howl in laughter, Severus felt his face drop in utter shock at the sudden change of demeanor. As the laughter continued, the transformation to Hermione's face became more evident. Color blossomed on her cheeks as a sparkle of mirth shone in her eyes, and Severus found his own face breaking into a wide smile. He felt such happiness at catching this glimpse of Hermione, the Hermione he knew lurked within the cage she had locked herself in years ago. Allowing the laughter to slowly abate, Severus waited patiently until she was holding her stomach as soft chuckles still trickled out, a smirk still evident on her face.

"Sorry, it's just completely baffling." A smug look replaced her smirk while leaning back in the chair finding a more comfortable position. "Who would have ever thought Severus Snape would become the next Albus Dumbledore of the British Wizarding World?"

Shaking her head, the smug look on her face, Hermione left the kitchen to resume her perch on his couch undoubtedly reading the same book he had taken her from.

Severus finished the dishes in silence, a small smile permanently on his face, with the thought that he would spend the rest of his life attempting to keep that humor and laughter a constant presence if needed. Somehow, he had faith that he would be able to break her walls down, to rescue her inner self from beyond it. As the dishes were cleaned and put away, he ignored her relaxed position on his couch, taking the stairs with the purpose of clearing out the guest room for her. There were four rooms on the top level: his bedroom with a connected bathroom, a hallway bathroom for the guest, his lab, and a guest room.

Clearing out the guest room was easy enough with only a swipe of his palm to complete what was already started. The hard part had him paused in turmoil as he realized he had no idea what she preferred in colors or room décor. Taking the safest route he transfigured a large bed, a wardrobe, two dressers and a medium sized bedside table. All out of the mahogany book shelves he had as extras in the room before. Making a split second decision, he changed the bed into dark green silk blankets, and finished it off with an over-sized fluffy brown throw blanket. Adding two more pillows to the bed, a couple of candles on the dressers and the bedside table, he gave the room a last once over for dusting. Leaving with a sense of pride in his work and hopeful that he hadn't misjudged her taste.

Upon reaching the landing of the stairwell, he went to tell her where she could sleep when he found the book had slid onto the ground open to her last page, Hermione softly snoring on the couch. His heart instantly warmed at the notion that she found his place to be safe enough to rest. Having assumed safety to be one of the things she had troubles finding since the war. Moving to pick the book up from it's resting place, he laid it back on the side table.

Bending to pick her up, he slid a hand under her knees and turned to slide one under neck. Suddenly his arm was gripped painfully and twisted hard enough to fear his shoulder dislocating. On his knees before her, arm held at a hurtful angle, Severus steadied himself while giving her as long as his arm would allow.

"Hermione please! It's me, Severus. Your fine, your in my home." He grunted the words out through clenched teeth in pain, sighing once the grip was released almostly instantly. Standing to full height he found the same haunted look in her eyes as when she had woken at Hogwarts. This time the haunted expression was doubled with pain and anger he could only assume to be directed towards herself for causing him pain.

"I'm fine, don't do that to yourself." She shook her eyes from his gaze, biting down on her bottom lip with the expression clouding over. "I should have been smarter than that, I knew better."

Still she remained silent, curled in on herself facing the back of the couch with her back to him. Taking a step closer, he bent to kneel beside her bringing himself level to her curled frame. "Hermione, let me show you to the guest room upstairs, it's ready for you."

Slowly she uncurled herself into a standing position, keeping her eyes away from his, and made to follow him up the stairs. Severus found his anger rising as she reminded him vaguely of a beaten puppy that lashed out against it's owner. Hoping the room would provide for a change in her, he stepped from blocking the view so that she could survey it. Taking a tentative step in, only after looking to him for permission she began to walk a full circle of the room. Stopping only, much to Severus's concern, to double check the windows had been sealed and warded. Completing her circle, she gave a slight nod, as if to say thank you in her own dejected way. As he turned to leave, his steps were halted by his whispered name.

"Yes?" Glancing back over his shoulder, he found her squeezing her fingers together, looking every bit the anxious and stressed teen he remembered.

"Sorry, for earlier." It came out soft, almost unable to hear it as her eyes still bore a hold in the ground instead of meeting his gaze.

"Please Hermione, let it go. I am not your professor, nor a master. I am merely a friend who cares for you, and wants to help you." Her eyes hesitantly reached his own, and he had to reinforce his own shields as the need to cry somehow crept up on him. "Go to sleep, I'm in the room down the hall. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything okay?"

Another slight nod, and he turned to once again, entering his room.

As soon as the door closed Severus had to take several shaky breaths, his heart felt as if it had been ripped, sliced, and then put back together in a completely different way. He had never seen someone so lost in themselves, and to add to that, it wasn't just anyone but his once Hermione, once known for being individually strong and independent. _Well not his Hermione, but Hermione Granger_. This was going to take a lot more digging, and he wasn't sure he was looking forward to poking an angry homicidal woman. Damn Kingsley for agreeing to train her, damn the war for making her a killer, damn whoever or whatever was responsible for breaking her. He would see that she was put back together and help her rediscover herself, if not someone who resembles her.

Sitting down at his desk while summoning his owl, he began to write two different messages to the two people who had to have known what occurred after the war to make her break in such a way. Kingsley told him they had refused to talk when previously asked, but he was betting he could get them to talk one way or the other.

 _Dear Mr. Potter,_

 _No doubt this letter may come as a shock to you, but I fear the shock may only continue, if not become greater, for you. I have found Ms. Granger and would like to meet you so that we may talk. Please send a time and place that fits your schedule for tomorrow._

 _S. Snape_

 _Dear Mr. Weasley,_

 _We need to talk. Please send a time a place to meet tomorrow that fits your schedule._

 _S. Snape_

Rolling both pieces of parchment, giving his owl double the treats after tying them to each of his legs, he charmed them to only appear before their intended recipients. With the owl taking flight he slid the window closed and latched it tight, igniting a fire in his fireplace, he curled before it with a book from his collection: _Occlumency damage and how to reverse it._ With the fire as his flickering light, he lay on his bed in a comfortable enough position to read, as he knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep that night. The house was warded against Hermione using any type of silencing spells, and if there were to be any nightmares he wished to be available for her.

Before being able to focus on his book, he took a moment to consider the woman and how she had changed. She was every thing he had imagined, beautifully fit with curves in all the right places, and yet she still maintained an anger and sense of danger to her that only heightened his awareness. She had obviously been out in the world for a very long time as her skin was a perfect shade of tan, but the tan only brought her scars to a more obvious disadvantage. The muggle clothes she had changed into were something he would expect allowed for the maximum flexibility for her actions. A plain white tank top and jeans that fit just right, made Severus truly fight against the wish to study the picture she made all night. With the skin available to see, he observed every scar that it offered with painful clarity. Her back and shoulders were peppered with small silvery scars. Scars that he was sure held their own separate stories of battle and strength. The scars on the left side of her face were almost in a perfect star shape centered around her hairline, and the bigger scar that he had found on her neck previously, did in fact twist around to disappear between her shoulder blades into her tank top. He knew what it felt like to be covered in scars, knew what it did to insecurities allowed to build over time. Once she was herself again, he knew he would spend every minute trying to explain that she was still desirable. Shaking those addicting thoughts from his mind, he opened his book and began his research.


	5. Cry for me

Severus had just turned the page to his fifth chapter, finding the information as useful as he had presumed it would be, when a scream sounded from down the hall. Dropping the book in haste, he ran down the hall making entrance to stand by her bedside where he found her twisted up in the blankets. She had sweat on her forehead and her hair was a tangled mess, she rolled from side to side whining and whispering incoherently. Thinking of the best possible approach at ending her nightmare, as he knew of the dangers per his own, he lost his concentration as she mumbled his name.

Throwing caution to the wind, he sat on the edge of her bed with his leg curled under him and shook her slightly.

"Hermione." After a moment, he continued to shake her once he realized the nightmare continued. "Hermione!"

Suddenly he was on his back with her body straddling him, both his arms and legs pinned to the mattress. Desperation and anger burning in her eyes. Even as his heart sped up and his limbs were infused with warmth at the contact, he held still and allowed her a moment to collect herself. Then without warning she was on the other side of the bed, staring down at him. Severus felt chilled from the sudden lack of contact.

"Severus?" His name breathed in a sigh of relief as she took in her surroundings to confirm being in his home.

After mentally berating himself for the feelings and reactions that arose due to her attack, Severus turned to Hermione bringing himself into a sitting position.

"Take a deep breath Ms. Granger, you're safe here."

He saw here take stock of the room once again, reassuring herself that it was in fact real while taking deep breaths to calm herself. Once Severus saw that her breathing had evened out, he allowed himself to relaxe a little more.

"Believe what you wish Ms. Granger. You are not the only one to deal with nightmares on a daily basis. Have you tried anything to help with them?"

She gave him a guarded look pale faced and tight lipped, and turned away from his searching gaze to stand next to the bed. As she walked slowly to the window, her arms crossed, Severus kept himself from staring at the moon lit scars along her shoulder turning his eyes to the fire instead. After a few minutes spent in silence as the two attempted to collect their thoughts, she finally turned to him with a different expression. Where the last was that of a startled animal, this one he hadn't seen on her during the few hours since she had woken. This expression held determination, and strength.

"I know I'm not the only one Severus, I'm not naive enough to wish that I remained the only affected person from this war. I only chose to maintain my own capabilities and work through my issues by my own means, and alone. "

Shock settled over Severus at the use of his name, as well as the sudden change in the verbose state of her. Deciding to take it in stride, he nodded in understanding. This woman had just opened up to him more in the matter of two sentences, than any other person he could remember. Hoping this might be a step towards her trust in him, knowing the only way to maintain that trust was to show her he was willing to open up as well. Taking a deep and steadying breath he allowed his walls to crumble just as he formed what he wanted to say in response.

"You know that I understand the need to keep my suffering my own, I also understand the thought that to allow any others to see my own issues would be to cast a burden upon their own. Sometimes that isn't completely the case." He could feel his heart beat hammering in his ear drums, his mouth had gone dry halfway through the last sentence, and he felt his body warm at the slow understanding in her eyes. These small pieces of the real Hermione coming forward gave him hope that all was not lost, and it warmed him to his bones finding there was a possibility.

Taking a moment to allow what he had said sink in, he tried a different tact in attempting to keep the conversation flowing.

"Seeing as neither of us will be sleeping any time soon, would you care for some tea?"

Silence followed, and as the minutes passed by the warmth he had felt at the sliver of hope from before slowly cooled, worried that he may have been too abrupt. Just as he made to stand, she turned to him from the window.

"No thank you. I think I'll just retire to the sitting room to read a bit more, usually helps during my more restless nights."

At that he chuckled softly, "It's nice to know that no matter how much someone may change, no matter what they go through, once a bookworm they will always be a bookworm."

Stopping beside him before exiting the room, she glanced at him over her shoulder, and he could swear there was the beginnings of a smirk on her face. "Speaking from experience are you Severus?"

With that she disappeared down the steps, and he could feel his heart sputter in its tracks. The woman definitely had a hold on his emotions if just a simple statement could cause his heart to palpitate in such a way. Leaving her on her own, trusting she wouldn't attempt anything rash, he retreated to his own sleeping quarters to resume reading as well.

As Hermione found her body molding to the couch in the same position as before, she couldn't find it in her to focus on the words staring back at her. Instead all she could do was think about Severus and what he was trying to do.

She knew what it was he wanted, knew what everyone wanted. They wanted the old Hermione to surface, wanted the bushy haired, bright eyed girl that was always smiling. The studious girl that had answers for most questions, and if not answers the will to find them. She could feel her heart break as the one person she had successfully hidden her current state from, was now burdened with it in his own home. It was pointless, an impossible wish. She didn't understand how her friends couldn't see that the old Hermione was weak, whereas the new and improved warrior that she had built was strong enough to withstand anything. There was a sense of comfort in being able to lock away her emotions and memories, to be someone completely different became liberating.

Yet, even with as many people she had taken revenge upon, with so many hours during the day that she successfully hid behind her occlumency, she still had an ache in her heart. Tears were quick to form if she didn't keep herself in constant focus, and she could feel the need to scream or beat on something most of the day. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe Severus was right, maybe she wasn't helping herself but prolonging the inevitable time bomb she felt ticking away.

She wanted to allow him to help her, wanted to be able to move on. She felt strong yes, but physically. Emotionally she felt as if the smallest thing would either set her off in a fit of rage, or break her in two. Every morning, she had to beat a flood back. Every day it became harder and harder to focus, every day it seemed impossible to accomplish this.

Hunting, even as a job, had formed into a hobby that provided a great distraction, maybe why she enjoyed it so much. Or that was what she told herself, as she knew deep down that the darkness that lurked within her rejoiced with every life she successfully took. Every close call was worth it, as she felt she deserved the turmoil and pain that followed. Unlike her two counterparts from her childhood, she didn't feel she deserved the peace that Severus readily offered.

As her thoughts continued, she almost missed the creaking of the stairs behind her. Quickly she attempted to shove them all back inside the wall, but knew that at least a remnant of her internal battle would be clear as day to the spy.

He quietly moved to shuffle the wood of the fireplace in front of her, forcing her eyes to stay on the book.

"Is it the nightmare?" Spoken softly, she glanced up to find his expression softer than she had ever seen in all her years of knowing him. For a second, she allowed the possibility that he might actually care, that he might be doing this on his own instead of being asked by others to take root deep within. Shaking the thought, she focused on his words.

"Is what the nightmare?" She almost smirked as he looked confused.

"You're crying Hermione." Time seemed to stop for her as the blood drained from her face, lifting a hand to her cheeks she felt the steady stream of tears there. Disbelief settled over her as she realized this was the first time she had cried since that night a week after the war.

"I-…." She furiously wiped them away until he grabbed both her wrist, making soothing noises. "I didn't know I was. I'm sorry." Even as he held her hands she turned her face from his, wishing he would just leave.

"I'm not going anywhere Hermione. You can let me see your emotions, they aren't a burden to me. In fact, they are welcome. Let them out, it's the only way you can properly heal."

She jumped to her feet, knocking him back into the couch, turning to glare at him. Anger burning through her veins at the presumption she would want anyone to see her let the emotions loose.

"I'm not that emotional, or happy little girl anymore. I'm not running around all smiles. I don't need your pity Severus. Nor Do. I. Want. It." His hands rose in front of him, in an offering of peace. Hermione took steadying breaths, trying to rein her anger back in. She began to find it was going to be harder than she thought to keep him in the dark, to control herself around someone 24/7 was turning out to be drastically different than when she only had herself to answer to.

"Leave me be Severus." Turning her back on him once again, gazing into the fire, she released a large breath she hadn't known she was holding. "Please."

She could feel his gaze burning into her neck, could feel the need to comfort her, to fight her against holing herself up again. Instead she heard his movements as he reluctantly stood and left the sitting room. The most surprising part came from the pain she felt in her heart at every creak in the steps as he walked away.

Finding that no matter how hard she pushed back, no matter what tactic she used, the flood wasn't receding. So instead, with the strength she forgot she possessed, she allowed the dam to break. Once the first few tears broke free, it felt as if a weight had been lifted. Hermione curled further into the couch while holding onto the pillow next to her for dear life; she sat crying hard enough to steal the breath from her lungs. Keeping her sobs quiet easily enough as it seemed her voice had been stolen, not wanting to alert her host to this new emotional break.

Hermione cried for those she lost during the war, cried for her family, for Severus, and for the relationships she assumed were burned since then. Mostly she cried for the events that no one had yet to discover, for the nightmare she lived a week after the war, two days after discovering her parent's brutal murder.

Hermione thought of the event that had broken her for the first time in almost four years. Crying until eventually she fell asleep, curled on the couch with tears still streaming down her face.

Severus looked at the mantel clock finding that more than 2 hours had passed by. He hadn't heard Hermione since she had told him to leave, and worry still radiated in his heart heavily. Finally giving in to his instinct to check on her, he set his book on the table next to his armchair and silently crept down the stairs.

As his foot touched the floor, and an apology formed on his lips, he turned to find her curled over a pillow with her head leaning against the back of the couch. Clearly asleep, he smiled softly, until he examined her closely. Her face looked puffy and red, and with the fire burning brightly he could just make out the flicker of a reflection in the tear tracks that remained wet. Hermione Granger had cried herself to sleep on his couch, and he felt happy about it. As strange as it seemed to him, he couldn't help but continue to smile softly as he laid a hand on her arm to test how deeply she was asleep. After gripping her and releasing with no reaction, he slid his arms under her knees and below her shoulder blade, hoisting her up to cradle her against his body. Shocked at how light she seemed even with the clear muscle she had developed, he walked up the stairs to her room.

As he walked through her doorway, Hermione's head slid from his shoulder to rest in the crook of his neck. Immediately he felt a wave of warmth at the contact spread through his body to his fingers and toes. Gently laying her on the bed, he waved his hand over her so that the sheets tucked themselves around her.

As he turned to leave, he fought the urge to kiss her forehead lest it be the final touch to wake her. But, he did allow himself to retrieve his book and bring it back into her room. Resuming his reading next to her in the armchair that mirrored her bed and fireplace. He felt compelled to be close in case a repeat nightmare made itself known.


	6. Moment of Decision

The day had been an awkward occasion, as both Severus and Hermione attempted to remain distant from the other. Though they attempted the same goal, both had very different reasons for doing so. Severus wanted to give Hermione the space he felt she needed, especially after having successfully worked through her first emotional knew what the aftermath of such an episode was like, to realize what had happened and what it meant. He knew the need to be alone if only to fully process what the episode meant and to decide on where to go next. Whether most believed it or not, Severus had his own experiences when it came to being emotionally inept. Hermione kept her distance in fear of Severus becoming annoyed or attached. Still unable to understand if she wanted a friend or not; whether she was angry he had uprooted her work to care for her, or if she was grateful. Either way, she kept her distance to allow Severus his own time alone.

With Severus brewing potions for Hogwarts after receiving an owl from Madam Pomfrey with an urgent plea for his help, Hermione took residence in the sitting room reading. Books had always and continued to be her one piece of solace in this world she had found to be chaotic and never ending. Having already finished two of Severus's old potions textbooks, she found she had definitely missed spending most of her time with her nose buried in a book. During her time as Kingsley's secret weapon, she only ever referenced books, never spending more than thirty to forty minutes consulting one. It was something that was too close to a hobby for the old Hermione, something she felt she couldn't continue if she was to ever completely transition into a new person.

If only she knew how much she had been giving up.

Severus had started brewing at about dawn, only having surfaced for coffee and sandwiches at noon. With every passing hour he felt a weight grow that held pressure against his heart and chest. Every hour meant an hour he held himself back from being with Hermione, keeping an eye on her and pushing her to a new break through. Having found great progress in last night's episode, he agreed to brew Madam Pomfrey's request only to allow her the time she needed. However necessary he knew it was, it didn't stop the pain from building until he felt as if it might crush him.

Refusing to seek Hermione outright, he made his way through the sitting room consequently noting that she was fine and reading, while grabbing more coffee. Hesitating at the opening between the sitting room and kitchen, he gazed upon her focused form, giving himself a full minute to observe her before returning to his work. Slowly he felt a small amount of the weight lift from his chest, with a slightly better outlook on the situation. In knowing she was perfectly fine if not relaxed, he continued his work in the lab.

Hermione paused in her reading as soon as he had passed her to walk into the kitchen, smelling the coffee he poured she couldn't help but feel a tad amount of pity at the work he was slaving through right now. Even being someone like Severus who had become used to brewing all of Hogwarts potion stock, she knew it must be exhausting. With the thought festering in her mind, and her instincts screaming at her to move, she finally laid the book on the table as she made her way to his lab.

Freezing in uncertainty, suddenly remembering all those times he had humiliated her after she had either helped someone else, or offered an answer to his questions in class. The confidence and knowledge she felt she possessed did nothing for the amount of insecurity she now fought against when it came to Severus himself. With her hand itching to knock on the wood before her, and her legs twitching with a nervous need to turn and walk away, she grumbled under her breath at how stupid she felt.

Finally, as she could no longer argue the pros and cons to offering her help, she turned to leave as the door opened from the inside.

"Hermione?"

Her feet halted before her mind came up with a proper response to the question he posed in her name. "I was just-"

"Standing at my door contemplating on knocking or not?"

Sighing deeply in regret, her eyes fell down to her feet as she knew that her insecurities had been right, interrupting him was a bad idea. "Would you like to help me brew?"

Hermione's mouth dropped as her eyes flew to his. That was definitely the last words she ever expected to hear coming from Severus Snape's mouth. Slamming her mouth shut as she felt a full body shiver start from her toes and make its way to her ears, she nodded.

Standing to the side to allow her space to enter, Hermione noticed the room was definitely extended with magic as four rows of long wooden work benches made up the center of the room. Each of the benches had eight expensive cauldrons.

"Your brewing ten different potions at once? How is that even possible?"

He gave an earnest smirk, and led her to a stool by the first row. "This bench contains dreamless sleep potions, which have, as I'm sure you recall, three hour steep periods. The second row contains blood replenishing potions, which have two hour steep periods. And so on and so forth. So I calculate which potions can be brewed at the same time but won't conflict with the other, and then I add up the bulk portions to the ingredients so that I may brew more than one at the same time. It really is nothing but simple planning, organization, and a bit of math."

"Sounds complex and precise to me, like something I'd enjoy. Where do you need me?" Hermione watched as his face lit up in passion as he started to give her directions of what he needed a hand with and where the potions currently sat in their brewing process.

To this day, she believed that it was that moment in his labs that her mind became decided in allowing him to help her heal. That day in the lab, when he entrusted her with completing his work, she entrusted him with completing what he claimed was his unfinished 'job' .

They ended the day working together, with Severus keeping a steady flow of conversation and Hermione's one worded answers. When the day started out with a painful separation, eventually they found peace in working with each other towards a common goal. Severus went to bed with a light feeling in his heart, while Hermione slept that night with no interrupting nightmares.

***Note from Author.

Sorry it's a small chapter, and a bit of a filler. But more intense moments coming, I promise. I also apologize for the formatting issues from the beginning.


	7. Shopping and Feelings

Friday morning, Severus rose early setting about making breakfast and coffee as Hermione slept. Once again she had experienced another emotional episode crying herself to sleep. Once again, Severus had spent the entire night in the armchair that mirrored her bed, keeping watch. After breakfast finished cooking, he heard her slowly making her way down the steps. She looked well rested, and more relaxed than he recalled earlier in the week, of which his body buzzed with pride at being a part of.

Taking his seat, as she took hers next to him, he decided to try something brazen this morning. She had been living off of the few pairs of clothes she carried during her hunts, with a few of his spare t shirts and sweatpants. As it had become some what of a tease to watch her parade around the house in his clothes, he had been attempting to work up the strength to ask about a shopping trip. After her most recent episode, he hoped it may have been what she needed before taking this step. Watching as she loaded her plate with food, he made his own while continuing to observe her. He didn't see any residual effects from her second emotional break the night before, if anything she looked better than before it happened. But then he noticed her emotions had already been bottled up as she ate in an almost trancelike state. Holding onto the hope from last night's events, he took a leap of faith.

"I'm going to Diagon Alley for some books; would you like to join me? Perhaps we can get you some clothes?" He watched as she stiffened noticeably, her food in limbo just before her lips. Holding his breath in a moment of hope, he waited in silence.

Slowly she set her food back on her plate, and turned with a more open expression. "I suppose I can't wear the same clothes anymore can I?"  
He almost laughed at the absurd question, instead shaking his head softly he replied, "I'd advise against it."

At that she did chuckle, and he smiled softly as they continued to eat in silence. With the leftover food disposed of, coffee in both of their systems, he waited patiently for her to set aside her book and join him at the door. Turning to her with a stern look on his face, his eyes bore into her own chocolate ones.

"No running, understood?"

With a smirk on her face, and a smug sparkle to her eyes, she leaned closer. "You'd just chase me like the fool you are Severus, what would be the point in that?" He laughed as he held his arm out for her to take, apparating to the Leaky Cauldron's back alleyway.

She was surprised at how normal it felt to joke with him. How easy it was to allow her walls fall as she laughed at the things he said. But banter and joke they did as they walked through Diagon Alley, like it was something they did on their weekends all the time. Like Hermione hadn't spent the better part of three years stalking around like the killer she had hoped to become. After stopping at the shops he needed to, they went to Madam Malkin's to shop for a couple pairs of clothes. At first, she seemed completely baffled by the selection, everything a bit more intricate and dressy than she was prepared to wear. Then Severus walked up behind her, softly grabbing her elbow as Madam Malkin herself walked forward with a set of purple robes about to offer them. Steering her to do the door and continuing until they stood in the alley once again.

"What-" He smirked at her knowingly.

"None of those clothes were anything you were interested in buying. It was written all over your face."

As she nodded in agreement, a smirk on her lips for the tenth time that day she gave him an exasperated look.

"Any other bright ideas then?" He steered her back to the Leaky Cauldron as he leaned closer to softly reply, "how about a trip out? I know of a few shops in London that may fit your needs. "

She stared in disbelief at his suggestion, and yet trusted his judgment enough to allow him to continue to steer her away until stopping outside of the Leaky Cauldron and offering his arm. Glancing into his black sparkling eyes, with a smile outlined in his gruff beard, she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow once more and waited for the tell-tale sign of apparation.

They appeared at a back alleyway lined with red tall bricks. At the opening of the alleyway she could see the normal morning traffic of any London street. Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself for the crowds she was sure to face to get where ever it was that Severus had in mind. Letting him lead, she found another surprise as he turned not to the opening but to head deeper into the alley, upon which he stopped next to a red door. Above the door held a sign that red Anne's Boutique. Seeing the relaxed face that Severus held, she walked through the door he held open for her.

The Boutique was many things, but crowded definitely skipped the list. There were maybe one or two other people currently browsing the lines of clothing fit into the small and cramped shop. Feeling her heart slow down at the relaxing atmosphere, she gave Severus a small smile before taking off on her own to find clothes. As he had said, they were definitely more to her taste. Gathering tank tops of various sizes, some sweatshirts, and two jackets, she handed those to Severus as she turned to check the jeans section. Finding at least six more pairs of the kind of jeans she loved to wear, tight but flexible and soft, she held them in a tight grip rejoining Severus's side. After arguing with the older wizard on who was to pay, she eventually gave in as she felt it pointless to continue arguing her point when he was so stubborn on his view.

Walking from the store, happiness flush through her at the thought that she had officially completed her first shopping session since before the war. Never having been a fan of crowds before the war, much less after, this was definitely something she felt happy about. Turning to look at the man beside her, she couldn't help but feel grateful towards him as she had made yet another step towards making a recovery. A recovery she hadn't known she was avoiding until just recently.

Cradling the inside of his elbow with her small hand once again, she turned to him in acceptance of his waiting glance. Apparating back to his home in Ireland.

Instead of apparating straight back into inside, they landed at the tree in the far corner of his yard. An intentional move on his part due to the beautiful view it offered of Ireland's coast line and the waves beating against the rocky cliffs. Taking a peak at Hermione, he smirked at the look of awe that now transformed her face.

"Do you like it?"

She answered with an attempt to speak but only able to give a muffled gasp with a shaky nod."Are you kidding me?"

He laughed once, and turned his gaze back to the sun setting over the horizon. The waves gave a beautiful melody as they stood in silence grasping at the moment of peace together. Finally, as darkness began to cover them, he turned to Hermione once again to find her smiling. Not a small smile, as he had grown accustomed to seeing, but a genuine smile that curved her lips. She painted a picture that he would never forget, with a bag of clothes cradled in her arms, her eyes lost in a faraway place, her silky hair blowing softly in the evening breeze, and the sunset glow spreading colors throughout the sky. He savored every detail in his mind, prepared to see it in the quiet moments after she recovered and grew smart enough to move on.

"You ready?"

Her eyes focused in on his, and his breath left him completely. For a moment all he could do was stare deep into her dark brown eyes, and stand frozen in place. Until eventually she turned from him and walked up to the house. Keeping pace behind her, he shook the moment from his mind and focused on the task at hand. His last thought on the matter that maybe there was hope she could look upon him with that same expression once she was finally healed, and remain by his side. It being a dangerous thought, he pressed on, focusing on what to cook for dinner.

The walk back to the house allowed her time to process what exactly happened back there, one minute she was lost in the sunset and its contrast to the blue ocean it touched. The next she was staring into Severus's black eyes, lost from all pain and memories, stuck in a moment of peace and safety. When she felt the beginnings of warmth spread from her heart, she shook it off and turned away. It was an experience she had never had with any other man, not even with Ron, that feeling of complete peace that someone could offer her. Just making eye contact with the man had her emotions slithering their way through the cracks in her walls and making themselves known. She hated how she wished for it to happen again, even if she knew it shouldn't. Not if she meant to keep herself safely locked away from any future pain the world had to offer, and a relationship or even a friendship with this man could especially be a perfect opportunity for devastation.

As Severus began to prepare dinner, she went up to her room and began packing her clothes away into the dresser drawers, leaving an outfit out. Taking a quick shower she changed and brushed her hair before heading back down to the kitchen, finding Severus staring out the window over his sink.

"Severus?" Quickly he turned to her, seemingly oblivious to her recent approach.

"Dinner is almost ready, if you want to read some more." Before she made any more of a fool out of herself today, she turned from him and took her seat at the couch. Having settled on her sweatpants and a soft grey cameo, she curled her bare feet under her and began reading easily.

He stared after her with desire, attempting to remind himself of the reasons behind her stay with him. The sweatpants and cameo she wore, though barely much of a change to her tank top and jeans, gave him a different aspect of the woman's body. Even in comfortable clothes, he found her desirable enough to burn from the fire running through his veins after barely a glance. Something he hadn't experience from any other woman his entire life. Even with lily, he never really felt desire like this.

Continuing his preparations for dinner, he eventually began to focus more on the task at hand than the picture she still portrayed in his mind. Cooking was always something he could do to calm his mind. Something he also found that contained many similarities to potions. As his hands continued to work, his mind eventually processed all that had happened today. In conclusion to a productive day, he had broken her hermit ways, placed her in society, even pushed her through something she most likely never enjoyed doing. All of which, she handled better than he could have imagined.

As he placed the chicken into the oven, and set a mental time for twenty minutes, he joined Hermione in the sitting room. Taking his place quietly in the armchair that sat next to the end of the couch Hermione lay against; he caught himself admiring the smooth curve of her shoulders. Eventually he took in the muscular detail evident in her shoulder blades, following her scars with his eyes as his hands itched to replace them. Every piece of this woman intrigued him, even now as she sit before him locked away, he would agree to a lifetime attempting to heal her if it meant being in her presence. Severus began to wonder when he allowed himself to fall for the young witch before him.

"Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes." She glanced over her shoulder in reply, a simple action of acknowledgement. Suddenly he wished his book to be in his hands so that he actually had something else to focus on. Something to focus on, as well as, a reason to stay seated in this chair and wait with her. Knowing it wasn't a good idea for her to catch him staring; he made his way up to his room. Freshening up in his bathroom entailed splashing his face with cold water and giving himself a pep talk about how he couldn't fall for a woman who would never want him.

All in all, both sat quietly agreeing that today had been a good end to the first week spent with Severus. With dinner being a quiet affair, and Severus still struggling after the small amount of sleep from the night before, they both retired to their rooms early. Severus dressed down to his boxers and a t-shirt climbing in bed with a sigh on his lips. Thoughts of the woman down the hall clogging his mind.

Hermione fell asleep as she pictured the sunset, only to find herself staring into a pair of black eyes as peaceful sensation from before came over her.

NOTE FROM ME****

Another filler chapter, but stay tuned. Next one is important and then the real angst sets in. I'm kind of falling in love with this story the more i write, thinking it may turn into one of my longer ones. So i'll say in advance thank you to those readers out there that enjoy the slow burn, detailed, longer stories.


	8. The Next Step

Hermione perched on one of the top most branches, with one foot stabilized on the branch and the other swinging below her. Thunder rumbled in the distance as a steady down flow of rain fell around the tree. With it's dense leafs and branches above her, only the few rain drops landed on her unnoticed as she remained deep in thought. It had been a peaceful few weeks since Severus had taken her from Hogwarts. Most of which had been spent in comfortable silence between the two. She had started to suspect that Severus had grown tired of trying to keep conversation flowing, as she barely spoke few words in return. After a week of fighting him in his attempts to break her, she grew tired of keeping her normal stoic facade. Once she allowed her emotions to run free, there was no attempting to gain control of them again, leaving the atmosphere in the house to develop into an awkward dance between her and Severus. In that he spent most of his free time trying to get her to talk, and she in turn folded into herself even more while still attempting to break free.

Thankfully, Severus had taken up free lance employment in way of brewing by request, which allowed long breaks in that he would start brewing and stay busy for hours, sometimes days. It was during this time that Hermione found she had made strides of success in attempting to find herself. Time spent alone rather than in his company. Though she was surprised to admit, she found his company to be increasingly comforting, as well as intoxicating; she knew that those feelings would go nowhere if she allowed herself to remain with him. Slowly over this last week, in that she was given permission to go about her days as she wished, she had come upon a decision.

It was time to break away from Severus. She had spent these last seven days thinking of all the ways that he had helped her begin this journey. All of the different ways he had slowly melted her walls away and provided a place of security when things had become too overwhelming. Still she knew that with the refusal to speak of anything that had happened, as well as the need to be alone, they had officially met a stalemate in the process. Hermione had also started to find herself seeking time with him, instead doing what she needed to do on her own. Lately, Severus had become her new distraction. His scent, his black bottomless eyes, the muscle he had grown since the war, even his scruffy face had all become the perfect dreamy distraction preventing her with dealing with herself. Having found an intense connection brewing between herself and Severus, she knew it would be harmful for the potential of a future relationship if she were to continue to lean on him. Instead she had decided that tonight would be her last with Severus for a while, she would be leaving and take time alone to figure herself out. She needed to find herself before she could allow any sort of action to occur towards the feelings she felt for him. That was an additional motivator to finally ending this inner battle with the two different mentalities that had surfaced over the years.

Hearing him call her name from the house, she leapt from the branch and landed with ease, jogging from the tree to the house in the pouring rain.

Severus waited by the door with a towel, glaring at her with his trademark scowl. "You insist upon being out there while the weather is at its worst."

"I like the rain, it's soothing." He shut the door with a grunt as the thunder rocked the walls of the house louder than before. Walking past her to the kitchens while mentioning that dinner was ready.

She went to shower before eating, as she smelt horrible from her earlier run. Something she had started after that first week, maintaining her body's strength with daily runs and different exercises that nature provided.

Severus watched her dripping form leave his view up the stairs, while making his own plate. Every day that had passed recently felt as if she was growing further and further away from him. The closeness from those first few break through episodes, now fading as he felt her spending more time on his own. While his insecurities sat smugly in his mind reminding him that no witch like Hermione would ever want him. Wisdom allowed him to realize that after the need for stability and security from someone helped with the first stages of recovery, the last few were ones that only on their own could someone truly accomplish finding themselves. Daily Severus fought the need to keep her here with him, to try and make her see that he wanted to be hers, with the coming separation for the final journey for self recovery.

She re-entered the kitchen looking refreshed in a pair of comfy sweats, one of his spare shirts she had taken to wearing, and wet hair. Severus attempted to maintain control on his thoughts and feelings, as her scent of vanilla and lilac surrounded him in a tantalizing cloud. With the need to hold her close, and tell her everything on the tip of it's edge, he cleared his throat and finally spoke his mind.

"So, when are you leaving?" Her entire body froze, surprise plain on her face with an underlying apology in her eyes. As she lay down the spatula, and turned to face him, he felt a lump forming in his throat.

"I guess i shouldn't be surprised you had already figured it out." He glared at her evasive comment, and nodded, remaining silent in the hopes she might eventually get it over with.

"Tomorrow." With just one word, he felt as if his world had turned upside down. His heart ached already, as his veins ran cold at the mere prospect of the house being empty of her presence. Focusing on his wisdom as he had the past few days, he reigned in his emotions and pushed forward with allowing her this decision. In respect for her need to finally end this journey, he pushed aside his anguish for her own health.

"I see." Even with the determination not to hold her back, he felt blinding pain as he forced himself not to argue against it. Every piece of him wanted her to stay, while his mind became a traitor shoving the reality in his face.

For a second, he thought he had imagined the guilt at leaving him written on her face, but it was quickly replaced with her determination to see this through. Turning from her view, no longer hungry, he began to slowly force food into his mouth putting every last bit of strength he reserved into swallowing it. Silence fell over them once more, but instead of the normal comfort he found in it he faced despair at the thought of the different silence he would now face. Not the silence of two people comfortable without words, but the silence of his being alone once more. Finishing his food quicker than he thought possible, he placed his plate in the sink and retreated to his bedroom. Anger rose at the coward he was being, but he couldn't find it in himself to lie to Hermione about being okay with her departure. He definitely was too tired to stay in her presence as it only drove him mad with repressed desire, heightened at the prospect of her absence.

Resorting back to his Hogwarts days, he lowered the intensity of the fire with his altered stasis charm, so that his room would be cast in a glowing darkness. Crawling under the covers in his pajamas, he stared at the ceiling with an intense anger. Whether he wished it possible or not, sleep would definitely escape him on this night.

Hermione sat at the table for two more servings of chicken and vegetables, thinking of how she would miss his cooking. Finishing her food, she then decided to clean his dishes, as he obviously wasn't in the mood to do so. While she washed each plate and cup with care, she began to focus on her thoughts. All of which focused on a certain wizard with long black hair and onyx eyes. She would miss him terribly, but hoped that it would only remind her of him while she was gone. She could picture a future where she was eventually better, and able to be a part of someone's life again. Wanting more than anything to be in a relationship with this man, but knowing it wouldn't be wise until she found herself again. Her mother had always told her that to be able to love someone completely, you first had to love yourself. Hermione knew that the statement would be in the forefront of her mind where ever she ended up, knowing that she would be able to be with Severus in the way she wished once it happened. She only hoped he would feel the same.

After telling him that she was leaving tomorrow, her resolve almost slipped at the glimpse of hurt that she found in his eyes, before it was smothered. She knew he had some sort of feelings for her, but was unsure of their true meanings lately. Some days she could find him observing her with a heat that made her skin buzz, but others it felt as if he held her at arms length like best friends would. She knew she had fallen for the man within days, but still remained hesitant to believe she would be so lucky as for the feelings to be returned. He had recently grown into quite the man, and could easily find a better mate after all.

Having long sense finished the dishes, and stood staring out the window long enough, she waved her hand over the fireplace to put it out before retiring to her room for the night. Stopping at the cracked door of Severus's room, she listened for any signs of his being awake or asleep. Hearing nothing, but noticing the darkness as a sign of sleep, she entered her own room. Crawling into bed with a heavy heart, she grasped onto the strength and determination she held to better herself, and allowed it to will her to sleep.

Hermione became aware of three things upon waking, the first was the unusual silence throughout the house, second being the smell of coffee wafting through her door, and the last being that she had apparently slept longer than usual. Sliding from her bed, she donned her slippers and made her way to the coffee, her body begging for it's caffeine. Already on her third sip of the dark liquid in a matter of five minutes, she froze as another thing suddenly became clear to her. Laying the mug on the counter, she retraced her steps to her room to divert her route into Severus's. As panic started to flood her senses, she quickly checked the bathroom and lab, only to run back down the steps.

He was gone. Severus had never left before she had woken in the three weeks of living with him, every morning he would await her arrival in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. He would greet her softly, and attempt small talk once she had taken her first sips of coffee. Leaving only after he had spent time with her, undoubtedly assuring himself she would be okay in his absence. Now, on the day she was destined to depart for an unknown amount of time, he was conveniently gone. She felt her heart crack as her resolve began to falter, quickly feeling an internal battle begin. Once again she grasped the strength she possessed, and decided to leave as she had planned. She knew it would only be a matter of time before she would be seeing him again, and refused to be angry at the fact he couldn't face her upon her leaving. She couldn't find it in her to fault his actions either way, not with the feelings she had started to discover.

So, she allowed herself to carry out her morning routine of coffee, some reading, and a run. Only allowing her emotions to take over upon showering, where she cried softly at the absence she already felt where Severus normally was. Giving herself a few moments of weakness, she focused on allowing herself this one chance to grieve his absence determined it be the last time. Stepping from the steaming shower, she dried herself off and dressed in one of the outfits she had found with Severus out in London. With a soft blue button down shirt, and a pair of grey jeans paired with her dragon-hide boots Hermione felt comfortable and ready for this journey to begin.

Taking one last look at the room she had come to feel was hers, she memorized every last detail before wandlessly packing her clothes in one small movement. As the folded clothes disappeared into her beaded bag, it's extendable charm still strong, she felt a lump form in her throat. Ensuring she left the room in a neat and orderly fashion, she hated the pang of disappointment she felt at leaving no trace of herself behind. Making one last decision, for herself and Severus, she picked through her bag before finding exactly what she wanted. Entering his room, while quickly memorizing the intoxicating scent she had recognized as uniquely his, she laid her journal on his bedside table. Within this book were the memories and events of the last four years, the things that no one knew about her, and all her struggles she had kept locked away. The most important thing about this journal was it's beginning, this journal was the only piece of material that held evidence of what happened to her after the war. The one thing that she had never spoken of was written down, and she was willingly leaving it behind for Severus to read. Knowing that it would hurt him as much as comfort him to know what had happened, she knew it was something she had to do, not only as a way of finally allowing someone else to know what happened but as a way of letting Severus know she had come to trust him. This was her way of saying thank you, and also a selfish means of him hopefully never forgetting her.

Giving the journal one last pat, she turned from the room and left. Leaving the house and it's security was almost as painful as leaving Severus himself. With a tear sliding down her cheek, she turned to face the house, she whispered _Goodbye Severus_ as her body twisted in on itself into nothing.

Severus came home as soon as the wards had notified that she had left. He knew it was cowardly, and hated himself for doing it, but knew he would have broken down in pleas had he not been absent as she left. He was many things, but had come to discover when it came to Hermione Granger a strong man was not one of them. She was, is, and forever would be his weakness. As he made his way through the now empty house, he found memories assaulted him at every turn. Every small portion of the house had some sort of memory possessing Hermione, and they all decided to present themselves now that she had departed. As his heart broke with each one, he fled to his room and summoned the bottle of firewhiskey he had hidden for desperate nights. 

Slouching into the armchair by his fire, he closed his eyes in an effort to prevent seeing her only to find she was smirking at him from behind his lids. It seemed no matter what Severus would attempt to do, she would haunt him until her return, if she ever did return that is. Not one to mope, he tried fighting against it, tried reading unsuccessfully, tried researching, even went to his labs to see if any request had arrived to find there were none. Finally, he returned to his room and began drowning his sorrows.

On his fourth tumbler of whiskey, as his senses began to sway and his eyes felt heavy, he suddenly became aware of a foreign book by his bed. Leaning over to grab it, shaking his head at the resulting dizziness from too much alcohol, he opened the cover to find familiar curvy writing.

 _Property of Hermione Granger,_

 _return if found._

He smirked at her dry demands to the stranger who found her journal, as if they would automatically obey. Giving himself a firm shake to try and find some level of soberness, he turned to the first page and found it dated six days after the war. Immediately the alcohol fled his system as his heart began to race, the day before she had seemingly changed 'overnight' as Minerva put it. She had left him her journal, disbelief fled his system in a chilling rush. He had abandoned goodbyes in favor of cowardice, and she had in return left him a piece of her. Having come to learn more about her during the time she had spent with him, he knew this journal was a key piece to Hermione and it was not something given lightly. So many feelings burned his heart at once so badly he grasped at his chest feeling it tighten painfully. All at once he was overwhelmed with his feelings for the witch, his ache at her absence, his wish to see her safe, and his need for her to return.

Stifling the overwhelming attack of feelings, he focused once more on the book laying in his lap. Grabbing it up once more, he began to read with passion determined to finally understand what had happened to his Hermione. For he finally felt it appropriate in his mind to call her such, as she had undoubtedly take his heart with her.


	9. One Day at a Time

**WARNING**- This chapter contains vivid memories of what happened to Hermione. If rape or abuse causes any emotionally upset I would skip this chapter.**

A curious tingling sensation warned of the goose bumps breaking out over her body due to the temperature dropping, the moon having taken over the sun hours before. Hermione sat curled against the trunk of one of her favorite trees, one that she discovered during recon while on one of her many hunts. It had been a full day since she had left the warmth and safety of Severus's house in Ireland, and she missed him terribly. Not having gone very far as she apparated to the first place she pictured, one of her hide outs in Scotland's dense forests, she still felt the miles between them as her heart ached constantly. Closing her eyes, allowing the sound of the trees swaying in the midnight breeze to calm her, she felt her muscles slowly unfurl in relaxation. It had been a while since she had last seen this particular forest, and she felt comfortable with it remaining as she remembered. With colors of all shades in flowers and fruits littering the bushes and trees around, the small alcove in the trees allowed enough room for a tent and miniature campsite. This being one of her first sites at the beginning of her hunting career, she knew to start her journey she would have to back track by making peace in places she hadn't felt at peace before. So this little spot of peace in the forest had been her first stop.

 _"Rodolphus Lestrange has been hiding out by camping in numerous locations, never staying in one place long. My informants have given me his last location as of yesterday, afraid time is of the essence in this case my dear." Kingsley gave her a folded piece of paper and a rolled up scroll secured with the stamp of the Ministry's logo containing her contract. This was a normal practice as of late. Show up with a body, receive a name, a little of information, and a contract with a slip of paper containing apparation coordinates._

 _Hermione gently grasped both items form the older man's hands with a stoic expression. "Understood Minister. Give me a day."_

 _His face dropped in sadness once more as was also a normal occurrence upon her acceptance of every name. It seemed Kingsley continued to hold out on hope that one day she would return with a body and decide she was done. Every time finding disappointment as she was driven to rid the world of the horrible people that still remained. It was surprising and yet completely understandable to Hermione, if not a tad annoying at times._

 _Turning to leave his office, having been given apparation privileges at the beginning of her hunts within the ministry, she apparated from his concerned gaze. It was time to stop by a store she remembered from her times living at home in the muggle world, grabbing some last minute supplies for a nature stay, she apparated to the coordinates not but twenty minutes after receiving them. Ensuring she didn't appear directly in the line of fire, not wanting to ruin the element of surprise, she calculated her location from the coordinates given apparating about a quarter mile out._

 _One landing softly on her feet, she quickly tensed as she took in her surroundings. A small alcove of a clearing in a dense forest gave her a little of a breather in the numerous trees surrounding her. Once she determined the location safe and clear of any people, she set her wards and began preparing her camp._

 _After the fire place had been made, her camp set up, and sleeping area laid out; Hermione set out to do a small amount of recon. Her body having remained tense and ready for what was to come the entire time since apparation. Fear, fury heightened with her parents death still fresh on her mind, and strength recently acquired all pulsed through her veins as she silently leapt from branch to branch in search of her target._

 _After only minutes of starting her trek through the forest, she found the target sitting at a nearby camp before a fire with a rabbit cooking slowly above it. Remaining oblivious to her perch above him she observed his actions keeping a mental schedule of his in mind, already preparing for a trap to be set and planning on how to kill him._

She remembered that hunt vividly as it had been one of her most creative, playing cat and mouse in a forest had always been something she pictured herself a victim in. Then, being presented the opportunity to be the hunter instead, she may have gotten a little out of control in her planning. Now she sat quietly in that same alcove with no rush to be anywhere, the need to kill having long burnt out during her time with Severus allowed her time to just sit and think. Reliving the memories while squashing the feelings that it brought forward gave her the sense of taking her first step in a long foreseeable process.

With the memory set aside, no longer giving her anxiety or causing stress to her well being, she let the fire die out while checking her wards once more. Still one for safety and vigilance, she set alarming wards approximately five feet out of her actual wards so that she may be warned of any approaching people. Finally as her bones began to ache in exhaustion, she crawled into her tent and allowed the sounds of the nature around the camp site to lull her into a deep sleep.

 _10 May 1998_

 _10am_

 _I spoke to Harry and Ron last night, both seem to be settling well into their new lives. Ginny is already expecting her first child, no surprise there. While Ron seems content after our break up, having found himself an eligible bachelor with his new found war status. Apparently, men fared better in those terms after something like a war occurs, as i only ever experience stares of wonder or fear, never a man looking at me with desire. Either way, i am truly happy for both of them, if not a little envious._

 _Severus finally woke from his coma last night, i made sure i wasn't present for his impending anger at surviving the war. At least i still assume he was angry, not having received word of thanks. Since leaving Hogwarts, i returned to my family house in Heathgate. Even knowing that my parents would never return, i knew it would offer a safe place to restart. Since their memories are now unrecoverable, i have decided to move on and figure what my future plans are. Minerva offered an internship with Poppy during my time as a nurse for Severus, although tempting, i couldn't face living in Hogwarts any longer after the war. I need a change in venue, some place to start over._

 _I've looked over numerous different Wizarding Schools that offer Master programs in potions. Yes, i know, a little cliche since i spent the last week taking care of one of the most brilliant potion masters this world has ever seen. But, i don't wish, nor would i ever be able to find the courage to ask him for an internship either. Although Severus may now hold a place in my heart, i won't be a burden to him. That's something i have become adamant on since the war, never allowing myself to depend on another's company for comfort or anything else in that matter._

 _Well that will be all for now, i have an appointment at noon with the local bar for a position as a bar maiden. Yes, it's grunge work, but at least it is a bloody job. Judge all you want, i did not receive enough money to feel comfortable without a job for the rest of my life. Something small sounds right to start out with._

 _Until next time,_

 _H_

Severus stared at the end of the page with disbelief flowing rapid in his thoughts. Hermione had written about him, not only just mentioning his name, but complimenting his status as a potions master and following it up with having a place in her heart. Understanding that she had definitely changed since the first entry of this journal, he still didn't understand how he hadn't picked up on her regards for him. Maybe he wasn't as blind as he felt, maybe her feelings had changed during her time hunting. Maybe she decided she no longer cared for him after he had basically kidnapped her from Hogwarts.

A tapping on his bedroom window broke him from his thoughts, setting aside the now empty tumbler along with Hermione's journal on the table, he opened the window allowing his owl to land softly on the desk in the corner. Unraveling the letters in reply to his own, he quickly calculated his schedule in reference to their replies.

 _Professor Snape,_

Leave it to Harry bloody Potter to still address him as such, even though he hadn't been a professor in over four years.

 _I'm available tomorrow, and will be in diagon alley for some supplies. Although i'm not sure what more i could offer, i wouldn't mind sitting down and having a pint with you. Please send a reply as soon as possible if this is suitable to you, with a time that fits your schedule._

 _Harry_

He felt years older after being addressed so formerly in a letter from the boy he knew had seen his deepest and darkest memories. Shaking his head in annoyance he replied swiftly and attached it to his owls leg before turning to Ronald's letter.

 _Dear Snape,_

 _I'm unavailable for the next few days as i will be overseas doing a quidditch tour with my team._

 _Please accept apologies._

 _RW_

He snorted into the silence of his room at the weasle's attempt of diversion. Knowing he was more likely to find out the more accurate story from Harry, as the ginger headed idiot had never been quite perceptive, he dismissed the need to reply. Giving his owl an extra treat, he opened the window and watched as the beauty he made in flight.

Turning his attention back to the journal, he felt an incredible urge to quench the thirst that had become Hermione's thoughts.

 _13 May 1998_

 _9 am_

 _It seems that muggles can be just as much of a monster as wizards can. Whether there is blood or magic running through someone's veins, evil can still be a part of their ideals. I tried, I really did. I tried to be someone with a plan, I tried making a go at the normal life. Of course, all of my efforts would have led to this, if I had only listened to my instinct, maybe I could have prevented it._

 _As I try to put into words what exactly occurred, I find my heart racing and my fingers shaking. Even after the war, after losing my parents, and watching those I used to think of as family grow apart from me. I thought I had already dealt with any evil the world could throw at me. Apparently, I was wrong._

 _Last night I started my first job with the bar, even though I felt it odd, the manager accepted me on the spot and even asked that I stay to help out. I asked him if midnight would be the latest I worked, but only got a chuckle in response. The lack of respect in his eyes, the leer with which he bore down my body with, these all should of been warning enough._

 _Yet, I stayed. Not really sure my reasoning behind it, but I ignored the warnings in my mind and became mesmerized by the amount of drinks I would have to learn. Ever the eager student, (I can just hear Severus mocking me), I asked questions, made drinks under supervision and even began to enjoy myself. I met some people, spoke about college and things, and began to remember how different my life used to be before I received my Hogwarts letter. Eventually I became so good, that the manager had disappeared. I had assumed that he came to trust my abilities and left me to control the bar while he did something else in the back. Little did I know that the screaming in my mind was far from paranoid but trying to keep me safe._

 _As the traffic began to die down, the manager came back to the bar. This time he had begun to act strangely, almost immediately after he had taken to bending low and speaking into my ear from behind, I smelt his breath. Strongly resembling whiskey, with a hint of cigarettes, my skin began to crawl. I became so uncomfortable that the strangers at my bar started to ask if I was okay, only for me to mumble an apology with a forced smile and nudging my manager from my back._

 _Finally as the clock struck midnight, one of the men that had been sipping his ale slowly at the end of the bar offered to walk me out to my car, as he didn't like how my manager was looking at me. I felt so relieved and happy that someone cared enough to protect me, the manager already drunk enough to be stumbling so badly he had broken numerous glasses. Grabbing my coat, and nodding to the drunk in the corner behind the bar, I walked up next to the stranger giving him a relieved smile._

 _Although my mind screamed even louder than before in the bar, I followed him out of the bar. Once we exited out of the side entrance, I found myself in the alleyway with him. As I finally listened to the warning going off, I turned to run as the stranger suddenly pinned me to the wall._

 _The next thing I remember is waking up on the floor of the bar, trying to move was useless as both my legs and arms were lifeless. I lay completely immobile, as if some unknown force were holding my body in a paralyzed state with my mind still completely aware. After a few moments, the drunken manager from the night came stumbling forward with a smug look on his face. Being the same height as me, but on the overweight side, he towered over me. Immediately I went to scream, as nothing came out the man before me started to cackle disgustingly._

 _"Do you like the potion I've invented?" He bent to a kneel next to my head and began twirling my hair is his fingers, my scalp tingled in disgust. As my body began to flood with fear, I looked to him in confusion as I realized he has said 'the potion' he invented, meaning he wasn't as muggle as I originally thought._

 _"Ah, I see you finally caught on. Yes, Ms. Granger I am in fact a wizard. Although, I had assumed you would have been quicker on the uptake I was surprise at your lack of intuition. This turned out much easier than I could have predicted."_

 _Using his knee as a weight, he applied his body pressure in a bone crushing weight on my elbow. Unable to scream as I wished to, my eyes leaked with tears in pain. "Oh dear, there won't be enough tears for what I have planned for you. Trust me, after I get done, war will have been the easier part of your life. Now as I look at you, completely under my spell so to speak, you disappoint me. How is it that the most powerful dark lord of our time fell to the likes of you?"_

 _I saw his eyes starting to flicker with repressed anger, only allowing me a seconds notice before he finally struck me. Using the back of his hand as a bat, he hit me hard enough to feel my bones splinter in a break._

 _Eventually my mind shut off, as the stranger who played the savior from before joined him in his violence. I think I felt almost every bone in my body break under their painful assault. All I can remember after that first blow are snippets of more violence and then the surprise at the end of it._

 _I lay in bed of a muggle hospital that the ambulance (I think that's what they are called) brought me to, and I have found disbelief at the naïve nature I carried around with me for so many years. Up until last night I had been saving myself for the right person, how interesting was it to me that I find out I had in fact been saving myself for this night instead. I remember the older drunk dropping his pants first, not feeling but seeing my legs being spread apart. I remember the pain I felt as he forced himself inside, pain that I had stupidly thought couldn't be worse than what had already happened. I can't believe how wrong I was, compared to the pain Bellatrix caused before the war, to the numerous amounts of hexes that had clipped my body during it, even to the beat down I was subjected to before this, the pain felt then had my emotions dyeing into nothing. By the time the second began his assault, I was gone, thinking of nothing or nowhere. I simply lay staring at the cords connected to the back of one of the speakers in the far corner of the room, feeling nothing._

 _I don't remember how I was rescued, or even the ride over to the ambulance. After I woke up to find my belongings next to me, with tubes running in and out of my body in different places, one of the nurses informed me I had been there for almost three days. Immediately I asked who they had contacted on my behalf, to which they informed me that I had been listed as Jane Doe. I had been laying unconscious for the last three days alone, only to wake up alone. The pain I felt from that, coupled with the loneliness I suddenly felt, was nothing compared to the original assault._

 _It's been two days since I've woken, I have numerous breaks and fractures to my legs that cannot be healed quickly in the muggle world. When I felt my energy was at its height yesterday I sent my patronus to Kingsley requesting his immediate assistance. He finally arrived about an hour ago. I hated the look of pity and disbelief on his face, even I know I look horrible without a reminder. So after much groveling and many messages sent to Minerva and Poppy I'm to be sent by way of portkey to Hogwarts tonight after most of the nursing staff have left._

 _I've finally found the strength to write all this down, and I have to say the crap they sell about talking about things makes it easier is far from the truth. Either way Kingsley remains oblivious to my despair, as I have yet to feel my face move from it's blank expression._

 _H_

Severus sat completely frozen with the book held limp in his hand. As a swell of emotions began to blur within his heart, he sat motionless for lack of any idea as to what he could do with the knowledge he now possessed. Suddenly everything became so clear, Kingsley's sudden care towards Hermione but look of terror when asked what happened. Even the boy's lack of knowledge towards her sudden change of personality, everything she had done since then was completely explained in this one horrifying entry. He felt an exhaustion come over him the likes he hadn't experienced even in his time of spying, with the feelings he had for Hermione fighting with his wisdom of what she was attempting to accomplish, he found his mind in a weakly fought battle on what to do. Every muscle of his body laced with exhaustion, still pulsed with anger at the idea of finding the bastards who did this to her and exacting his own revenge. If he was, as she noted, a follower of the dark lord, Severus had immediately come to the conclusion that he may have already met his fate to the list of people she had already killed.

It seemed he had many painful entries to get through in the journal he still grasped in his hand. But tonight, he lay the journal down on the side table, grabbed a bottle of his strongest Ogden whiskey and made his way to brew something, anything to get his mind off of what he just read.


	10. A New Life

**I apologize for the amount of time that has passed since i last updated this story, work and life take it's toll every now and then. I have decided to take a different avenue with the story, i hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as the last. Please let me know what you think.**

 **-J**

The setting sun filtered through blowing curtains, the window cracked to allow a nice evening breeze to flow through as the potions had raised the temperature in the room drastically over the past hour. With his long hair, now reaching his shoulders, held back in a small braid he turned back to the potion and began stirring slowly as the potion reached it's peak color. This being the last of a particularly loaded order, Severus turned from the now simmering potion and made his way to the window. Grabbing his cup of coffee as he approached, he held the mug in both his hands allowing the warmth to shock some sensation back into them, days of brewing tended to leave them cramped and dry. As he gazed upon the changing light, colors swirling around the horizon, he felt the all too familiar sadness pervade his once busy mind. With nothing left to do but wait for this last batch to finish, his mind found it's familiar topic as it had continually since she left.

It had been a year and a month to the day since she had left this very house, declaring she needed time alone. It had been a year exactly since he had read into her deepest and most hidden memories left behind by choice. The trust he had felt at that small action, the feelings that had slowly taken root and spread during her time here as well as his time spent in her memories, all became overwhelming. He had decided a month after she had left that he couldn't dwell on her for the time being, potions needed replenishing in stores, and he needed to continue his research that had been held back all too long. So allowing himself small moments of weakness every now and then was the only way he could function properly, lest he found himself laying in bed all night unable to sleep by the overload of thoughts he had about her. It had taken him six months to quit his fruitless searching, to finally allow her to remain as she was until she was ready to surface. Hermione Granger hadn't made contact with anyone during those 13 months, he wouldn't be surprised if she never did.

Feeling his alarm for the potions go off, he turned to the cauldrons and began bottling them with care. Over the past year or so, he had become one of the most formidable private brewing masters, receiving orders in double digits had become a regular occurrence as well as a much needed distraction. So he had worked his way through this past year, spending the weekends rereading Hermione's journal while sipping on his favorite brandy. Every now and then he would leave the house for supplies, but every morning Severus had taken to jogging around the cliffs that provided a beautiful background to his house. He had shed all the stress weight from the previous war time, and felt better than he had in years. Yet, he knew eventually something would change, and every night before he succumbed to sleep he hoped it would be something to do with Hermione.

After organizing the last box of his order, he magically sealed and warded them to protect against breakage. Downsizing them into the size of sickles, he packaged them again in a single parcel and attached them to his owl. Giving a few treats, and ruffling it's feathers, his owl took flight with the delivery. Making mental calculations of the expected payment, he smirked with peace at the knowledge he had built a sizable egg to live on without touching his savings. Something he was never afforded during the time for war and spying. Turning from the lab, he started to think on what he would make for dinner as he strode down into the kitchen.

* * *

With a light chuckle she watched as her familiar jumped across the small space between the two cliffs that she had flew across. She began to laugh in earnest as he nudged her with his wet nose and playfully flopped onto her lap. At only six months of age, he weighed as much as a bag of bricks, he now stood at chest level with her. Still she ran her fingers lovingly through his fur as his body warmth flowed through her. Her sweat having long ago started to cool with the winter climate as the sun set.

It had been a year since she left. Every moment had been filled with discoveries and journeys, not with adventure per say but a sense of self fulfillment as she began finding herself slowly. She had finally completed what she had originally set out to do after only three months, yet she wasn't willing to return to society as of yet. So she began traveling, learning new things, taking different masters. Successfully keeping under the radar had come easier than she imagined it would, supposing she had her time hunting to thank for that. It had been 13 months she had spoken to anyone that belonged to her past life, and it was temporary. As soon as she had reached that moment of clarity 7 months ago, Hermione knew her place was in Britain with certain people. Hiding was never part of her long term goals, but she decided she needed to give people time to process that she wasn't the killer she had made herself to be. Though if she were honest with herself she wished desperately that she could take that time back. There was even a bit of truth to that she was prolonging the reactions she was sure to face once returning. But the further she traveled the more she discovered, and it had become a welcomed and much needed break from everything. Suddenly she understood why everyone had packed up and left for bits of time after the war, traveling had turned out to be exactly what she needed.

Six months after she had left, she found herself in Romania following the lore she had overheard in a pub during her time in Germany. As she came upon the castle that the rumors had centered around, she found a man outside tending to the garden. After greeting and discussing the lore in question, she had been invited to dinner with the land owner. Which led to a discovery in ancient magical history, myths she thought were mere fairytales as a child proven real.

* * *

 _The land owner stood at five feet with a slim build and tattoos covering his entire body. With short black hair and bushy eyebrows he spoke with a rather peculiar accent that had her listening intently for fear of missing the smallest detail. He spoke of familiars that had bonded with their masters on an intellectual and blood level. Something most wizards and witches could only dream of experiencing. With each passing phrase building in Hermione's mind, she desperately grasped at the need she felt for such companionship._

 _As the land owner paused, taking sips of his wine while studying her intensely, sadness swept through her as it made her remember the way Severus used to observe her._

 _"You vish to haf this experience don you dear?" Hermione felt apprehensive, but couldn't find the strength to deny his suspicion._

 _The land owner sat while observing her once more, unlike previously, Hermione could feel his magic building around her. His magic felt different than any other she had known before, ancient and strong but with a darkness to it. She shivered and warmed at it's presence. After what seemed to be minutes had passed, he finally smiled as his magic disappeared and a warmth settled in his once cold blue eyes._

 _"Vell, yus so your avare, my pups haf to choose you my dear. Not de oder way avound." Hermione felt hope blossom, of the likes she hadn't felt in years. "Are ye veady my dear?"_

 _She shook her head whilst sitting at the kitchen table, gripping it's edge with what she wasn't sure was fear or excitement._

 _Suddenly she was standing in a field, quickly looking around she found the castle to be yards away but still felt comfort at knowing he hadn't taken them far. Not having noticed them before, she heard a small growl the likes that you would find from a small dog, to which her eyes flew to the wooden gated area not but two feet away. Turning to face them fully, she almost melted at the sight of six fur balls tumbling over the other while trying to get a peak at her. As she flicked through her mind attempting to identify them, she knelt lower bringing them eye level._

 _"Zey are a type of mountain lion breed, zer very vare as anima's, even more ver familiars. Vomania ist der homeland, and I breed them."_

 _Hermione felt tears building as one of the more curious of his pack made his way to the forefront of the gate, peaking his head through it's space to nudge her extended hand. Shuffling closer she began to rub his nose, chuckling as the cub leaned into her touch._

 _"You must cut your hand. This type of familiar chooses by blood. Which ever licks your wound, ist your new familiar for life."_

 _Forcing herself to bring her hand away from the cub she had already subconsciously chosen, she used her wand to open a small incision along her palm. Though the sting was a tad worse than she had assumed it would be, she gritted her teeth as she climbed the gate. As if the cubs understood her wish, they formed a circle around her, each sitting patiently for their turn to sniff her hand. As her palm faced the first cub she froze in shock as her body went through almost the same sensation as her childhood self did while attempting to find a wand. Her arm tingled from the shoulder to her finger tips as the pup examined her blood, tiny puffs of warm air ghosting over it. Finally the pup looked at her with dark brown eyes and an angle to his head, an expression she recognized as dismissal._

 _As she reached her third cub, she fought the swell of disappointment and fear that had started brewing slowly in her stomach. As she reached the fourth cub, she recognized him as the one who had reduced her to tears by his curious nudge. Allowing him to step forward and lowering her palm to his nose, the sensation that overcame her hardly compared to the other cubs. Her body tingled all over as her blood heated automatically once the cub began to give small licks along the deepest part of her cut. As her legs gave out, she fell to her knees as the cub stepped on her thigh to curl his head around her neck, nuzzling her lovingly. Hermione had never felt so safe in her entire life, and it knocked the wind from her lungs as she clutched the cub for dear life._

 _"Vell vould you look at dat. You haf been chosen my dear."_

 _She slowly looked to the land owner with tears spilling from her cheeks, a smile split her face, in a whispered sigh she forced out "Thank you sir." Turning back to the cub who stood before her staring at her with intent, she became lost in it's eyes, one a dark and deep blue while the other was such a light shade of green it looked to be striped with silver._

 _"Dat lion ist yours now. He vill guard you ver life, always by your side. There ist definitely something unique in you Ms. Hermione, i bow to you and your new familiar."_

 _She stood up to return his bow with a curtsy, feeling the respect that her familiar held for the land owner influencing her previous assumptions of his character. As the land owner nodded, he turned from her and the cubs. Turning her attention back down to her cub, she took a moment to really observe the details to his features. Immaculate white fur that looked as satiny as it felt, fur that looked short but was actually long enough to curl around her fingers as she combed through it. Black fur that outlined his muzzle, his nose a small pinkish color. The cub standing, reached her mid calf, which she knew was an unusual size for such a young animal. Even his legs possessed a clear outline of muscle and power that Hermione could only marvel at the promise of what a magnificent animal her familiar would become._

 _"Well, i guess it's just you and me now huh?" After examining her now completely healed palm she knelt down to his height opening her arms to which he gladly curled into. Bracing her legs with experience she brought him over the fence with her, setting him down next to her. Just as she was looking upon the castle again, she felt a cold, wet nudge on her hand, she found a questioning look on the young cubs face._

 _"How does Warren sound, the name of a guardian? I think it suits you." The cub sat straighter as she swore he puffed his chest, causing her to chuckle. "Warren it is."  
_

* * *

Since that day Hermione had spent every moment getting to learn all she could about her new familiar and what it meant to be one of the rare witches to be chosen by one. She grew more and more grateful every day, filled with warmth and love, calmed within seconds of feeling a whiff of panic from her earlier days, all thanks to the over-sized lion that stuck by her side. Warren loved her like nothing she had ever experienced, in his presence she had truly found herself again, never having felt even remotely this safe since those days spent with Snape in his shack.

It was a sunny day with a breeze that held undercurrents of the upcoming winter's nip, with Warren by her side she took a leisure stroll through the small village. With it bordering the edge of the vast cliffs of Ireland, she became mesmerized by the beauty it offered her eyes daily. Today being some sort of holiday, the main road was packed with small groups of locals all chattering away with ease as the beautiful Irish band played their lovely tune. The bagpipes carried her emotions as she felt Warren nudge her hand to bring her back from her musings, looking to her right he watched her with curious different colored eyes.

 _I find that beauty hides in the most unexpected places, such beauty your breath is taken away immediately. Don't you agree?_

"You have this uncanny ability to sound just like my Albus sometimes Warren. But yes, i do." She smiled softly as he gave her a stern look in response to her comparison.

 _Shall we take a seat? I think you need a cup of coffee dear._

She snorted at his stupid request, of course she needed coffee, he had woken her at an ungodly hour to go cliff hoping and running with the sun rise this morning. Nodding she took a seat at the outdoor cafe' just across the street from the bagpipe band, allowing the sun to warm her chilled fingers.

Ordering her coffee and a bowl of water for Warren, the lion sitting comfortably beside her with his head still at shoulder height. She knew their picture would draw suspicions earlier in her visit, but as the days had passed the locals had grown fond of Warren even with his size and intimidating demeanor. Once again as her thoughts wondered, he nudged her shoulder playfully and she looked down to him with her eyebrow raised in question.

 _You're very quiet today dear, anything on your mind?_

"You know as well as i do, that you know everything that passes through my mind Warren. Seeing as you can read it. As well as i know you feel every moment of emotion i experience."

With a grumpy look on his face, his eyes burning with seriousness, laying his muzzle on the arm resting on her chair. _It's time Hermione. You know as well as i do, that now you are just avoiding returning home. It's not healthy._

She sighed as the weight she had been avoiding suddenly placed it's brunt along her shoulders. "Never one to beat around the bush are we?"

Warren shook his head no and she swore she could see him smirking. His white fur ruffling with the evening wind, his nose now a dark hue of grey still turned up to her with meaningful eyes staring through her very soul. "Yes, i planned on speaking to you about returning in the near future. But, it would have to be a mutual choice on both our parts Warren, you know that your meaning and symbolism in the wizarding world will draw much more attention than it has in the muggle areas we have visited. Are you ready for that?"

She could hear warm chuckling in her mind, irritation flowing wild in her mind at his response to her inquiry. _While i admire your thoughts on my well being dear, you know i am fully aware and have already calculated the possible risk. You also know i am duty bound to find you happiness and will suffer whatever consequences must follow for that goal to be reached. So you in turn know that what you just asked was a last ditch effort to avoid returning home when you know my mind is already made on the matter._

"Yes, yes. Alright then you persistent mutt." She received a playful nip on her hand at the jab, and yelped in response only to smile lazily at his antics. Once again she felt the love he held for her warming her soul, fending off the panic the prospect of returning home brought to surface. Softly he rubbed his soft fur against her wrist that laid resting on the table once again turning to find her eyes.

 _You will be fine Hermione. With me by your side, you know that it will make no difference the response you are received with. We can find our own slice of happiness anywhere we put our mind to. But i happen to know you have two degrees you have been itching to use in a career that only Hogwarts may offer. Have you replied to Dumbledore's response yet?_

"Ehm...No. I haven't made up my mind on that front yet. I haven't been back to Hogwarts since ..i... Se-.. _he_ kidnapped me."

 _Am i ever going to meet the man that has stolen my witch's heart?_

"Warren." She took a moment to allow the waiter to place the cup of steaming coffee before her, warming her fingertips on it's edges as she allowed her words to form. Feeling his cautious patience beside her she continued, "We've had this conversation before. I'm not sure he even feels the same. Much less still feels the same. It's been a year since i left him."

A soft growl vibrated in her mind. _He could never forget feelings for a woman such as yourself Hermione. Can we please go visit him before you go home? Only then can you truly be ready to return to deal with the rest of them my dear, you know Severus Snape of all the others should be the first step in returning._

"But what i-..." _No what if's my dear. It's the only way i would feel your ready to return. Lets go. Tomorrow._

"TOMORROW? Warren?! Tomorrow? That is a bit drastic don't you think?"

 _Not when the letter Dumbledore sent requested a reply by the end of the weak. If you don't do it tomorrow, you would only be continuing in putting it off longer. Our stay in this village has been the longest we have stayed yet. You ARE ready Hermione. Find the woman i know you are deep down, and use that confidence and strength i know you possess._

As Warren's words sunk in, she knew he was right. The lion always had been the voice of reason since she had found him those many months past. Another heavy sigh, and a slight nod of her head, the lion shifted down to lay along her chair. As the sun started to fall, she felt her familiar's warmth flood her skin in a loving caress as he lay peacefully. She knew it was time, knew he was right, and knew it would be fine. As long as Warren remained by her side, she could conquer anything.


	11. Just Missed Homecoming

After settling her affairs in the small village only hours before, she folded the last of her jumpers and lay it on the top of the pile inside her suitcase. Not having accumulated much during the time she traveled in the way of clothes, packing had always been a sordid and quiet affair. Her way of taking time to slowly say good bye as she did it without magic, allowing her mind to process over the experiences each small visit had given her. The clouds overhead were overcast in glum, in an almost sadness at seeing her go, only making it harder for Hermione to focus as the soft patter of rain began. Looking to the corner of her room, where she knew Warren lay watching her, she felt a rush of calm and peace envelope her as their eyes met in silent agreement. It was time, and she knew it.

Downsizing the suitcase, she allowed it to fall from her hand into her pocket, with her wand safely clasped to her wrist. Turning to her familiar who stood already waiting for her to lead the way from the cottage they had resided in these past few months. As she stepped outside, she turned once more to glance lovingly on the solace the small brick house had given her. Once more glancing to Warren he nodded as she turned and slowly walked through the quickening downpour of rain. Stopping at the very edge of the cliffs, she gazed upon the crashing waves below, allowing the wind to whip her hair in it's familiar caress one last time. After allowing the scenery to become implanted upon her memories, she closed her eyes to focus on a different end of Ireland. Focusing on a small cottage with another cliff edge and forest on the other side, she used that moment to apparate.

* * *

During dinner Severus had been interrupted by a soft pecking noise on the window of his cabin, setting his cutlery down and opening it he was surprised to find Albus's phoenix landing on his table aside his dinner. With every bit of majestic beauty it possessed Severus became alarmed to find it's normally happy expression changed into a deep sadness with a tear forming in the corner of it's eye. Immediately he slid the note from it's leg, unraveling it in haste.

 _Dear Severus,_

 _I hope this letter finds you in a moment of peace and relaxation, for i do not wish to add onto any sort of stress you may already be battling._

 _Severus, the time has come. I am growing faint with my old age and would like to discuss the prospect of resuming your post as Headmaster once i meet an the inevitable permanent peace that awaits me shortly. I know you may find great sadness in this letter but i have waited as long as i possibly can, hopefully allowing you to find yourself after those long years of being used. Those long years i have come to regret greatly. It is with great sadness that i wish to speak with you as soon as possible._

 _Please allow me a moment or two, as i know we may not stand on the best of terms right now._

 _My boy, i request your presence._

 _Albus_

Severus felt as if someone had just bludgeoned his heart with a rather heavy hammer, his body sagging in disbelief and as grief overcame him. He knew it was only a matter of time, they all did. Minerva and he had discussed it shortly before taking his leave of Britain. But they had discussed it in terms of years to come, not so soon. As the letter became a crumpled mess in his clenching fists and he took deep breaths through his nose, he wrote in haste that he would be arriving within the fortnight. Attaching it to the phoenix's leg, and wiping the tear from it's eye, Severus allowed a moment of need in comfort as he kissed the birds head in a chaste gesture of love. Whether for the bird or it's owner, Severus wouldn't dwell on it.

As soon as the bird took flight he began packing his belongings into the carrying case that Albus had entrusted him with as his most recent Christmas present. Growling in annoyance as he came to realization the old bat had probably known this day was coming even then.

After an hour of haste packing, with a combination of manual labor and magic, Severus turned giving the cabin and it's surroundings one last look before apparating away.

* * *

 **Author's note: To get the full effect i felt while writing this, you should listen to A gift of A Thistle from the Braveheart soundtrack. As it nearly brought me to tears while i felt such emotion writing this lovely homecoming, as home and safety are both things i still wish to feel one day. This story is becoming more and more a part of me the more i write it.**

Hermione landed softly with Warren next to the tree she had perched upon a year ago, the clouds just as glumy if not more so on this side of the cliffs. Taking a glance around, she suddenly felt as if something was off. Remembering the soft column of smoke that had always floated from the small chimney to the left of the house, Severus having always had a warm fire going, was now empty. No light filtered from the cabin's many windows either. As she stood observing it even longer, she came to realization she might be too late, as the cabin itself looked well and abandoned from the outside.

Running over to the cabin as a panic built in the small pit of her heart she had locked away, she flung the door open wandlessly and felt tears build at the bare shelves and coldness that had settled in the now empty cabin. After jogging through the house only to confirm her fear, she felt her body freeze in shock at the kitchen island as a flow of memories overcame her. Everything seemed so empty inside the cabin without his belongings, without him.

Just as she felt as the world began to crumble from beneath her, a deep and strong calm forced it's way into her mind. Suddenly she felt grounded and clear headed. Turning to the front entrance she found Warren standing there, his large presence almost comical in the small home.

 _Hermione, my dear. He has been gone but a day, all is not lost._

"What now Warren?" She felt anger rise through his calm, "You got my hopes up only for me to finally appear to an empty house! What now?!"

 _Stop that this instant woman! Sit down._

She took a seat in shock, never having experienced his frustration before. "Okay. Okay, i'm sorry." Warren moved gracefully to sit before her, his head at the knees as the stool she perched on gave her a bit of difference in height. Laying his head on her knees she once again felt his warmth and love break through the sadness and cold the cabin now held.

 _You WILL see him again. This was merely the first step in making a return. Whatever we were to find here, wouldn't have mattered. It was only a step you had to be able to take before you were truly ready to return. Now you have, and you see he has gone back as well._

"How do you know he has returned to Britain Warren? How do you know he hasn't just relocated somewhere else."

 _I have the ability to know many things Hermione, that is rather a stupid question. Now. Do you trust me?_

"Of course i do."

 _Then we shall apparate to Hogwarts immediately. But first, i need you to clear your mind. Take a moment to find the calm you have worked so hard to maintain during our time together. Focus dear._

Slowly, the emotions that had flooded through her at the sight of an empty cabin began to fall away. One by one she found the calm she had felt during her times of peace in the travels that had taken place with Warren at her side. Nodding to him, he stood and waited patiently as she followed him back outside.

 _Remember. I am always at your side dear. But i am going to apparate to the forest while you speak with Albus._

"But...why?" Suddenly not sure of her strength without him.

 _Stop that dear. You can handle this. Besides showing up with a 200 lb lion isn't your best idea. You need to accept Albus's offer and inform him of my presence before i will enter the castle. It has to accept me as your familiar before i can make entrance or any number of things may occur. You, yourself will feel the castle's curiosity at your change in magic, as you now possess deep and ancient magic unlike the average witch or wizard to pass its halls. Understand?_

Feeling the strength and confidence return, she nodded as she understood his thought process once again. She had forgotten about the recent changes to her magic, and had definitely forgotten how the castle may react to such changes. Even if she knew the castle would accept Warren, she knew he was right in staying in the forest until Albus had knowledge of his being. Otherwise, like he had said, there was no telling what could happen.

Shaking her head and allowing her love and understanding to flow from her through his body, she saw his eyes sparkle as he felt the strength and confidence she had felt lacking before return full force.

Once again she apparated, this time landing in the place she instantly remembered as home.

* * *

Landing softly before the gates that led to the grounds, she turned to her right to see Warren's long haired white tail disappear into the shadows of the forest. Looking deep into her soul she felt him brush her acknowledgement with a warmth of love, letting her know he was still by her side. Laying her hand softly along the edge of the gate, it molded into a door that swung softly open allowing her entrance. As she took that first step through she felt a small tingle of recognition in the wards.

Making her way up the grounds past Hagrid's hut, she made a mental note to visit him later, knowing he would be thrilled to meet her familiar. Looking to the sky, seeing the beginnings of darkness at the sun had started to fall for the evening rest, she reached the main entrance of the castle. Stopping at the top step, she paused pulling all the strength and confidence, all of her love for the castle and it's feelings of home forward, and laid her palm lovingly on the front door. When a couple of seconds passed with no response she almost let her hand fall when the castle suddenly warmed beneath her palm, the doors popping open a foot in admittance.

Opening it wide enough to allow her through, she stepped into the foyer and felt the castle warm her body from her toes to her fingers in a greeting. Smiling softly at it's reaction to her and the changes her magic had taken, she realized she had never remembered such a response in her younger years. Pushing that questioning thought aside, she associated it with a number of other questions she would ask later. Determination settling deep in her mind, albeit with a soft nudge from Warren in the distant forest, she chuckled at his impatience.

With the halls empty, knowing the students were still on their summer break, she softly made her way to the gargoyle entrance. Muttering the password she had memorized from the Headmaster's previous letter, it moved aside with a familiar creak, opening to the stairwell she wanted.

Knocking softly on his door, a feeling of worry built within her as she realized he normally would have greeted her in person once the wards had informed him of her presence. Without a word of utterance the doors opened beneath her knuckles as she had been about to knock once more. Checking her wand for cautious measure she slid inside.

Every inch of the Headmaster's quarters remained as she remembered, with a fire crackling softly to her right, it's warmth settling over her. She took a moment to look around and having yet to actually find the headmaster himself.

"Headmaster?"

With no answer, she felt a bit of uncertainty come over her, shaking it off she spoke once more with a little more volume. "Professor Dumbledore?"

The soft reply of "In here" sounded to her left. She turned to make entrance to his personal quarters with concern in every step. There she found Minerva sitting in an armchair with a book propped in her hands, not far from her was another fire crackling. Hermione found her eyes drawn to the figure propped on many oversized pillows in the large four postered bed in the middle of the room. Dumbledore sat with his glasses low on his face, his cheeks seemingly sunken in and his skin a scary shade of a pale white. Her breath flowed from her lungs as she connected the dots effortlessly in her mind.

"Pro-...Albus?"

He lay the papers from his hands on the bed, and smiled with the ever present twinkle in his eyes. "Ah, Hermione. Please dear, no need for that. Come take a seat."

Hermione slowly made her way to the bed and sat on the spot he had patted weakly, watching as Minerva left muttering about getting tea. Turning her attention back to one of the most important people in her life, she felt tears build as he looked much worse up close.

"Albus, what's wrong? Are you sick?" Her words felt shaky, but were strong in their tone.

"No dear. I'm afraid age has finally caught up to your old Headmaster." He smiled as his words had been meant as a joke, but shook his head as Hermione remained ever serious. "Dear, come now. No sadness please? It is after all a natural occurrence at my age."

She nodded as words still escaped her, almost able to hear her heart beating slowly with pain. As a moment passed with her eyes on the fire, her thoughts raging, she felt Warren slow them with love and strength, bringing her mind back to the present.

"I've come to accept your offer Albus, if it still stands."

He merely chuckled as his frail hands slid into hers, "Of course it is my dear, i've been waiting for your reply. It delights me so to know that you agree to the position."

"I do have one stipulation Albus."

He nodded in encouragement before she continued, "during my time away, i acquired a companion. Have you heard of the ancient beings that would choose a witch or wizard as a familiar?"

His eyes lit with a fire of knowledge at her question, "Of course Hermione, they bond by blood and emotion correct?"

She nodded as she chuckled, he seemed so like his ordinary self in that moment of passion she almost felt overwhelmed with sadness at the prospect of losing him. "Yes Albus, that is the one. I stumbled upon a keeper of sorts, and was chosen myself as a companion to a mountain lion."

She watched as his back straightened and his eyes eagerly swept his quarters. "Well, where is he then? I wish to meet him dear."

She laughed once at his childlike eagerness, "He apparated to the forest, in respect of you and the castle he didn't wish to barge in without my informing you of his being first."

Albus smiled, a true smile that split his frail face as Minerva came back in, Hermione watched as Minevra smiled in return. Hermione at once felt happy that she could bring this reaction to both of their faces, and at once allowed her command to flow through the castle to Warren for his entrance.

"He's on his way Albus, give it a second." No sooner than she had said it, did she feel the castle accept him happily as she heard his paws scrape the stone floors to make entrance to the Headmaster's quarters. Hermione turned her attention to the older man's face as Warren walked through the door to his quarters, feeling a smile break on her own face as she found the marvel and respect shining brightly in his eyes.

"Albus, Minerva, i'd like you to meet Warren. My familiar."

Minerva gasped as she too found her familiar at the entrance, his body almost large enough to block the doorway. Hermione turned to find Warren looking with love and respect in his own eyes at both the witch and wizard. Standing from her spot aside Albus, she nodded to Warren's questioning gaze, laughing as he immediately jumped aside Albus on the bed to curl along the older wizard. With his body almost twice the size of Albus he curled around and lay his muzzle lovingly on the older wizard's lap purring loudly as Albus took to scratching it.

"Hermione." The sound of her voice in a whisper of awe had her heart swelling, grateful that she could bring the moment of happiness to a withering man of old age. "He is absolutely magnificent."

 _Tell him to look into my eyes Hermione, i wish to speak with him._

"He says to gaze into his eyes Albus, he can communicate with you that way." Hermione watched as shock overcame the wizard as he turned to stare into Warren's beautiful eyes.

 _I've heard many things about you sir, and am absolutely grateful to meet your acquaintance. I take great honor in revealing myself to someone who has played such an important part in my Hermione's life. I will be by your side on your last day and will assure you feel the love i feel for her as your last moments take you. You are a wizard the likes Britain has only ever been grateful to possess._

Tears swelled in Albus's eyes as the lion stood and laid his head on the older man's shoulder in a hug. Suddenly Warren turned and slid from the bed to sit before Minerva, who was staring in disbelief.

 _You my dear, i hold the same honor in meeting. For you too have held an important in Hermione's life, and therefore in mine. I look forward to sharing this castle with you, and will have you know that as long as Hermione resides here, you and the students of this castle will be sheltered under my protection. For i am grateful Hermione has known such a strong woman as yourself._

Hermione chuckled as the same expression overcame Minerva as it had Albus, tears welling in her eyes as well. Minerva turned from Warren's gaze to Hermione and smiled brightly. "Well my dear, it seems you have become quite the witch during your absence haven't you?"

"Yes Professor, i suppose i have. Although i believe it more a chance of luck on my part, to have found such a familiar in my travels."

 _More like fate woman._

She turned to glare in a moment of childish retort to his statement. "Call it what you will Warren, but you bless every person you come in contact with by just your mere presence, so get used to it."

Albus chuckled, "Well it seems we are going to need to find some larger quarters for you now my dear."

"Nonsense Albus, i can make any quarters you give me work to our needs." Warren came to sit beside Hermione as she perched once more aside Albus.

"In that case my dear, the quarters on the west wing are private and awaiting you as our new potions master. I had a feeling you wouldn't feel comfortable in the dungeons, which are not currently occupied as it stands anyways."

Hope blossomed in her heart at that, she could only imagine if fate were so kind to have Severus living in the castle once again, waiting for her return. Turning to Warren she smiled as he gave her a knowing smirk.

Warren once again laid his head on Albus's shoulder in a hug before pulling away to connect their eyes once again. _I will be here whenever you need me Albus, you merely need to think my name and i will come. Rest peacefully my dear sir._ Turning to Hermione he slid from the bed. _Come, the Headmaster and Headmistress need their rest Hermione, it's time to get settled once more._

As she reached the door with Warren already leading the way she stopped as Albus called to her.

"Welcome home my dear."

She smiled as her eyes welled up once more, with a shaky breath she smiled. "Thank you Albus."

Turning once more and following her familiar down the steps, out of the entrance, at a leisurely pace to her new quarters. A feeling of home, safety, and love resonating within her soul, she knew she had made the right decision.


	12. Revelation in a Farewell

**Author's note: So the time has come, i must say goodbye to one of my favorite characters. I feel great happiness at being able to have prolonged his life a tad longer in this story, but it must be done. This is one of the most emotional chapters i will write, as i just recently lost my great grandfather to cancer. Bare with me readers, the romance is on it's way. Like i said, slow build.**

Over the last two days since she had finally taken residence in Hogwarts, she had been by Albus's side as much as possible. Even taking meals and working on her syllabus by his side. Each day, she remained a pillar of strength for the withering wizard as she listened to his endless stories, or sat in silence as she worked. All the while Warren remained curled up aside Albus, assuring he never felt any pain and slept peacefully. Each night, she would wait until he had been asleep for a few hours before gathering her stuff, and retiring to her bed. She allowed Warren to stay by Albus during the night, missing him painfully but knowing she felt better for the peace he gave him. Minerva had let slip that Severus had been brewing potions tirelessly in the dungeons since arriving, not taking well to Albus's turn of health at all. Each day she fought the need to find and comfort him, knowing Albus needed her more presently.

As she woke, with sunlight warming her from where it poked through her bed curtains, she rolled over to find Warren missing as usual. Sliding from her bed, she took a long and warm shower as her thoughts returned to her previous conversation with Poppy after a check up on Albus. She didn't think he would last the day, and could feel his magic leaving him at a quicker pace. As she allowed a moment of tears in the downpour of her shower, she calmed her emotions and cleared her mind. Strength, a pillar of strength, thats what Minerva and Albus needed as well as the rest of the residents in the castle. Harry and Ron would be arriving in a few minutes with their wives, Ginny and Lavender. Hermione knew she should be panicked at finally seeing them all once again, but couldn't find it in herself to worry over anything aside from Albus. Even the fact that she had been in the castle for three days now, and had yet see Severus once, even Warren saying he hadn't seen the professor at all should have brought the panic she felt at his empty cabin back.

Once she had changed into a comfortable outfit, tended to her hair, she slid her wand into the drawer aside her bed. She had found that the magic encouraged her wandless magic to the height she no longer needed her wand for even the most powerful of spells. Grabbing her jacket, she left the sanctity of her rooms and made her way to the foyer to see Harry and Ron.

As she reached the bottom of the steps, she heard two girlish screams and commotion break out. Breaking into a run, she rounded the corner to find both Ron and Harry sheltering their wives behind them as Warren stood annoyed at their greeting. She laughed, as her love for the boys and annoyance at their immaturity brought back old feelings.

"Oh, put your wands down, they wouldn't do anything to him anyhow." She came to stand beside Warren, chuckling again as both Harry and Ron's jaws dropped in sync to her laying her hand on Warren's head in a loving show of possession. "Warren, meet Harry and Ron. Their wives behind them are Ginny and Lavender."

Ron was the first to stupidly raise his wand once more, his face turning red in confusion. "Hermione, get away from it! It's not safe!"

"OH RONALD, put your wand away you idiot. This is Warren, my familiar. He would rather die than hurt those who are important to me."

Harry cleared his throat while putting his wand away, "That beast is yours?"

"Watch it Harry." She loving scratched behind his ears, "He doesn't like insults."

Ginny finally nudged Harry out of the way to run forward, Hermione finding herself suddenly enveloped in a suffocating hug.

"Oh, Hermione. It's so good to see you again. I've missed you dearly." Hermione smiled as a rush of thanks came forward for Ginny and her attempt to make her feel more at ease.

"I've missed you too Ginny. How are the boys?"

"Why is he staring at me?" Ron's voice came out as a whine, Hermione shook her head in annoyance.

"Perhaps because you still have your wand pointed at him, Ron put it away."

As his face once gain flushed red, he stowed his wand away. "Well you could have warned us you had a beast for a familiar Hermione, i mean come on look at him."

"This beast...as you boys so eloquently put it, is a ancient being who has chosen me as his familiar. Have some respect."

Both men muttered apologies as they shuffled their feet, a familiar response to her chastising them from their childhood. Hermione smiled softly, "Shall we go? Dumbledore is waiting."

They all nodded, Hermione chose to ignore Lavender's presence, still unable to deal with the witch presently. Taking up the lead with Warren beside her, she found Ginny whispering heatedly with Ron and Harry, both looking very apologetic.

As they entered the Headmaster's quarters, Warren immediately leapt onto the bed and curled aside the older wizard, but faced the crowd in a protective manner over him. Hermione felt pride and love swell within her at his gesture for the older man. Knowing that these last few days, Warren had formed a bond close to theirs with the older wizard.

The bedroom had been expanded magically to hold a long table with different snacks along it, Dumbledore's bed still in the middle of the room surrounded by chairs for people to come and sit with him, and pay his respects. It was his wishes that everyone come today instead of later to a funeral, he wished to pass in the presence of those he held dear and be buried in silence. Hermione took her chair closest to Albus, laying her hand in his, and smiling softly as Warren licked both of them.

 _It won't be long now Hermione, i can feel it._

Wishing for their conversation to remain private she opened her occlumency shields, _Is there enough time for the others to show Warren?_

 _I believe so._

Hastily, she wiped a tear from her eye. _I can't believe this is happening._

 _I'm right here Hermione, be strong. We will mourn later._

Hermione sat quietly, with a brave face, as she watched the others bring Albus into conversation one by one. Each relaying some memory they had with him, bringing weak laughter or smiles to his face. With each word she felt her heart crack, as Albus was being showered with respect and love. One by one the order members showed, until finally Kingsley showed. Leaning slowly with a cautious eye on Warren, to hug Albus. Just as she felt that everyone was present, her body froze as she became aware of a pair of eyes studying her from the entrance. Turning slowly she found Severus Snape standing frozen in shock at her presence, his eyes flying between the massive lion and her curled form aside Albus.

 _Hermione, leave him be. Let him speak to Albus and deal with this after. This is not the time nor place, stay strong my dear._

She turned to see her familiar's deep blue and silver eyes staring back at her, felt his love flow through her building her strength back up. She nodded once as her mouth finally shut, and she returned her gaze to Albus, finding a knowing twinkle in his soft eyes.

Softly, she heard his voice in her mind. _I hope the two of you find the happiness you both deserve my dear, it is my greatest wish._

She nodded softly, once again gripping his frail hand in both of hers. As the rest of the room seemed to fade in the background, she looked up to find Severus take a seat next to Albus's knees. With his body facing Hermione, he bent over and hugged the older wizard, whispering something in his ear. Albus smirked as Severus stood back up, before turning to Warren's questioning stare.

 _Severus Snape i presume?_

 _Yes, and you are?_ Hermione almost gasped at the rich baritone of his voice filled her head, she glared knowingly at Warren for allowing her to hear their conversation.

 _I have been named Warren, I am Hermione's Ancient Familiar of Romania. It is a pleasure to finally meet you sir._

 _I see. How is it exactly you know who i am?_

She heard Warren laugh softly at Severus's question. _My feelings and emotions are Hermione's. Obviously i would know who you are my boy._

 _I suppose you are staying in the castle then?_

 _Of course, as long as Hermione resides here, i will be as well._

Severus looked to her with a questioning and shocked look, but his eyes held warmth in them that she had missed for the year she had been gone. She nodded in affirmation to Warren's response. Severus nodded once, turning back to Albus.

Hermione's gaze followed his, as she found Albus's eyes closed, a small smile on his lips. Looking at Severus once more she found a single tear to have fallen from his eye, to which she felt her own break free. _Warren? Is he?_

 _Yes, Hermione dear. He has passed._

She gasped, as the realization of what had just happened settled in, Hermione pushed free from the crowd that rushed to surround Albus. Running from his quarters at a faster pace than she had meant to allow. Hearing Kingsley's deep voice yelling her name, she broke in a faster sprint from the steps of the castle, it's warmth caressing her in it's own form of mourning. She ran, and ran, numb to the emotions breaking free as much as she was to the opening sky and it's downpour. As she reached the gate's opening she swirled her hands in a circular motion as her body phased into flight, and she flew with no destination in mind.

Just as she reached the first quidditch goal she felt her body thrum in answer to a ferocious roar from below, looking down she found Warren sprinting below her.

 _Hermione! Stop!_

With a numbness she found scary as well as overwhelming she ignored her familiar and pushed her flight faster. Once again looking below her, she felt her emotions attempting to crack through at the vision of her familiar's mane rippling with wind at the speed with which he gracefully followed her. Suddenly his gaze found hers, _Fly my dear. Keep going, i'll be here when your ready to come down._

She felt strength envelope her as her body began to weaken, flying with ease once more she soared past the forbidden forest, all the while feeling his warmth below her. She continued to fly for moments she wasn't able to count, time seemingly stood still as the scenery below her began to calm her raging mind. As she reached the mountains a few miles past Hogwart's grounds, she landed in a heap of sobs and tears. Becoming enveloped in her familiar's grasp as he curled around and over her in protection and love.

She lay curled on the soft grass, with the rain and wind swirling around her, sobs flowing from her throat and a river of tears cascaded from her eyes. She grasped Warren weakly in her arms as she used him for both warmth and love while her grief overcame her. As time became lost to both of them, with her curled up in Warren's embrace, and her sobs becoming small shaky breaths she realized it was dark out. Taking a moment to survey the sky, she found a star twinkling merrily above her, shining brighter than the rest. Unraveling herself from Warren, she stood to gaze on it, suddenly feeling at peace as the star reminded her all too well of a pair of twinkling blue eyes.

 _He is up there now Hermione, watching over us all. Standing tall with strength and pride, healthy and happy with those who have fallen during the war. Having conversation and whiskey while catching them up on his thoughts and wishes during his time here. His legacy remains around us, and he will burn with pride as he watches everyone of those he held dear uphold it. I promise you my dear, you will meet him again, but he would wish you lived this lifetime to the fullest in his name. In both health and happiness._

She knelt beside Warren, curling her arm around his neck and he curled it around hers. They sat that way for a few more minutes, with Warren hugging her, and she staring at the twinkling star. Until finally she felt her strength return, as well as determination to make Albus proud. Standing once more, she caressed Warren's large muzzle lovingly while staring into his eyes.

"What would i do without you?"

 _You will never have to know Hermione. Are you ready?_

"Yes, i think i am." He nudged her hand before she took flight.

 _I'll race you._

She laughed as she watched him sprint off, shaking her head as her wrist curled in command, her body curling into a magic mist whilst taking flight once more.

* * *

As she landed just below the steps to the front doors, Warren sped up beside her.

"I win."

 _By choice ma'am. Always by choice._

"Yea right you mangy mutt." He nipped her playfully as she walked through the doors to find Harry and Ginny waiting patiently at the bottom of the steps, Harry holding her lovingly in her arms.

"Harry? Ginny? Everything okay?" Harry stood at once, having not noticed her presence before.

"Hermione, you worried us taking off like that."

She looked away, unused to the look of concern that burned brightly in the man's eyes. "I'm sorry Harry, i needed air."

He laughed in response, "Apparently the flying type? Since when do you enjoy flying, i've been trying to get you on a broom for years."

Ginny laughed while smacking Harry's arm playfully. "Flying on a stick and flying are two totally different things husband. Shesh."

Hermione smiled brightly, suddenly enjoying their presence once more, before becoming silently shocked as Harry started to pet Warren. "Not such a beast anymore is he?"

Harry glanced shifted anxiously, "No, he definitely isn't. Sorry bout that Hermione."

"Apology accepted."

Ginny stepped forward, laying her hand on Hermione's elbow. "Everyone's gone, Minerva and Hagrid and carried Dumbledore down to his vault. "

"It was as he wished Ginny, he is in peace now."

She gave her a slight hug before nodding, "i know, just thought it'd let you know."

Hermione nodded before turning to find Harry and Warren deep in conversation. "You know secrets don't make friends you two!"

Both Harry and Warren's gaze snapped to hers, Harry smiling in response while she could hear Warren's chuckles in her mind. Harry stood and gathered his wife, "Well we will leave you two for now, it's time to retire for the night."

"So soon?" Hermione suddenly wished she had longer to get caught up with her best friends, even if the circumstance were what they are.

"Yeah, it's late." Harry grabbed her in a fierce hug and whispered in her ear, "I'll visit soon i promise."

She nodded, and watched as both Ginny and Harry disappeared around the corner. Just as Hermione turned to make her way up the steps, she noticed Warren staring at the darker hallway below.

"Warren?"

"Apparently, you can't have any unknown followers now Ms. Granger." The deep baritone voice she recognized all too well came from behind her, turning she saw Severus step from the shadows.

"Why are you lurking?"

Severus stood straighter in annoyance as he scowled at her pointless question, "It's what i do remember?"

She shook her head, "No, actually i remember a completely different side of you Severus. Or did you forget?"

He moved to stand on the step below her, bringing him to her height. "Never." She felt her breath catch at that response, her eyes getting lost in his dark gaze.

Clearing his throat, he held his hand out, "Shall i walk you to your rooms Professor?"

She turned to find Warren waiting at the top clearing of the steps, his eyes burning in protection for her. She gave him a questioning look at his reaction to Severus, before starting to climb them. _I'm not sure of him yet Hermione, take it slow._

 _Oh please Warren, i've known the man longer than i've known you. Calm down._

Softly growling in her mind Warren glanced behind her to Severus _, just take it slow for me okay? If he hurts you, it will be the last thing he does._

She nodded as he disappeared into her quarters, turning to face Severus once more. His hair had grown longer since she had last seen him, now long enough to be braided back. He looked thinner but healthier, she could make out a stronger stance in his build. His eyes held a question burning in them, almost unsure of what to do next.

"Thank you for escorting me Severus, it is getting late, i should retire." She turned from him, about to push her painting open when he grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"Hermione, i-..." She faced him once more to find his gaze burning with an unidentifiable emotion, but felt hope bloom in her heart once more. "Where have you been?"

"I went all over Severus. I spent weeks, days, sometimes months in different locations."

Severus turned from her eyes, pausing, almost as if to gather what he would say next. Until finally his gaze reached hers again, his eyes burning with a heat, "Thank you. For the diary."

She had forgotten she left her journal with him, feeling her heart thrum faster at the idea of him having read it after she left. "You're welcome Severus. It was the only way i could actually explain to anyone what had happened to me. The only way i could make you see why i had become what i had."

He stepped closer but then backed away, almost having thought better of it. "I didn't need your memories to know you couldn't have become that person without something horrible happening Hermione." He paused taking a deep breath, Hermione watched as he forced himself to swallow. "I was so worried when you left..."

"Severus..."

"I looked for you, even though i promised myself i would let you go. I still looked, but i knew i had to leave you be." Severus took another step back from her, giving them space.

"I know, i'm sorry i never reached out. I just needed...needed to be alone."

He gave her a look of understanding, and for a passing glance she thought she saw something else, but it disappeared before she could be sure.

"I'll leave you to retire. Just wanted to say thank you." He turned to leave down the steps, and as much as she fought against she called his name to stop him. Taking the last few steps to stand level with him, she laid her hand on his shoulder before stepping on her toes and softly kissing his forehead. Her heart ached for her to do more, but she could hear Warren's warning in her mind, so she took a step back.

"I'm sorry about Albus, i know how close you two were."

He nodded, as sadness fell over his face. "I'm sorry for you too, i know you were as close to him as i was." He turned to take another step but hesitated, before whispering, "Hermione, can we start over?"

She nodded, her eyes welling with tears once more. "There isn't really a reason to start over Severus."

"Yes there is." He looked once more into her eyes before turning to disappear down the steps, leaving Hermione to slowly make her way into her chambers. Warren sat patiently on the bed, awaiting her arrival. As she stripped from her clothes, she ignored the tears streaming from her eyes once more, climbing in bed. Warren once more curled around her, and laid his head along her stomach, gazing into her eyes knowingly.

 _Let it out Hermione, i'm not going anywhere._


End file.
